Not to say, of course, that we absolutely do not need doubts, because it is they that make us act more or less deliberately, but there should be a minimum of them in our life, like salt in food. Doubts are caused by fear of failure, of a negative result that may be. But a negative result is also a result, and although of course you want to deal only with the positive, you won’t be able to live this life without a negative experience. For the vast majority of people, doubts arise precisely because of the attitude that making mistakes and making mistakes is bad. This is how we are brought up from childhood, weaning us from making mistakes, and therefore from acting, giving rise to millions of doubts in our head. Self-doubt has a direct impact on doubts, of which in this case there are simply a great many, and a person is more likely to find you a lot of arguments why he cannot do something than just go and do it. What can I say, it should not be so, of course, we should doubt very rarely, and even then, only for a detailed reflection on our actions, and not use doubts as a brake. This is the worst thing when you slow down, and when we doubt, we definitely slow down.
I can tell you to doubt all your life, thinking and wondering how it could be, but I recommend that you experiment more, that is, act, even when there are doubts. Well, anyway, you cannot be 100% sure of something, this is not a reason not to do anything. A theory will remain only a theory if it is not tested with the help of practice, and therefore there is no need to think too much, you just need to know. If you belong to the vast majority that I spoke about above, then you need to change your worldview. You must understand that mistakes and failures are just as normal as success. No need to be afraid of them, no need to try to avoid them, if failure overtook you, then you need to try to learn a lesson from this, through a simple understanding of what happened and why. If you don't give up the mindset that the problem is bad, you'll never grow up and stay where you are today. Well, what terrible thing can happen in your life if you make a decision that you doubt? If you are not killed for this, then nothing, although death is inevitable, it is only a matter of time.
But still, I'm sure that most of what you doubt is not life threatening at all, and if so, you have nothing to lose. Any positions in this life can be won back, you just need to have courage for this, and doubts are the lot of cowards. You do not doubt, if you know that a negative result is not possible? You doubt only if there is a possibility of a negative scenario of the development of events, and you are afraid of this. Or rather, in fact, you are not afraid, in fact, you are interested in finding out for yourself whether your theory works or not, whether you are doing the right thing. But you have been taught to be afraid of this, so that you do not accidentally grow wings, and you would not break out of the common herd. Your interests are not in doubt, you need to understand that your interests are in activity and in activity. An idea came to your mind, it needs to be implemented, thought over if necessary, planned, but implemented.
If thoughts often come to your head, but you doubt, and only drive them around your head, arguing about how it can be, I feel sorry for you, your life is primitive. A negative result can only negatively affect your self-confidence, but this is not natural, because if you made a mistake, this is not a tragedy, but you did it, you showed that you are a person who can, if he wants to. Therefore, a real person, great and omnipotent, simply has no room for doubts in his head, they take up too much space there. Doubts, like cowardice, should only be a protective factor, like an alarm, but not as a guide to life.
As a guide, I advise you to use confidence, courage, determination, faith in yourself, and the desire to have more. With such baggage, hardly anyone will scare you, and you need to fall in love with problems and failures, without them you are like without fuel for movement. It is the problem that makes us act more actively, and faith in ourselves allows us to overcome the consequences of our mistakes. Drive away doubts from your head, they are not needed there, because they were artificially placed in you, when you were born, there were no doubts in your head, because they are not needed there. We acquire doubts in the process of education, as part of what is supposed to help us survive, but this is in moderate doses. In large quantities, doubt, like alcohol, is poison to us.
The evidence presented in this book should help you gain confidence in the truth of the Christian gospel. However, no one is immune from the fact that at some point he will again experience uncertainty and doubt. I do not mean here the uncertainty associated only with emotions, with a change of mood. In life we may well be faced with facts that seem to be completely inconsistent with our faith, with objections that threaten to literally overturn it.
I understand the feelings of those who are experiencing difficulties that hinder faith, delay spiritual growth. I know what doubt is, and I believe that every Christian who takes the time to reflect on his faith is also familiar with it. Doubt is not necessarily the result of some bad motive. I said "not necessarily" because it may be that doubt is, in essence, the desire to evade the requirements that God makes of us. But I am referring to other doubts - doubts arising from the desire for a fuller understanding, associated with the craving for knowledge inherent in human nature.
Doubts of this kind have their positive side. Constant mental search is the main reason that we learn about the world around us, constantly striving to deepen our understanding of the essence of things. Doubt stimulates our thought, encourages us to make new discoveries. The very fact that you are reading this book suggests that you have some questions. I would like you to read it and through your doubts come to even greater certainty.
There is also an objective reason why many of our questions remain unanswered. God does not reveal to us everything that we would like to know. Moses said of this: “The hidden belongs to the Lord our God…” (Deut. 29:29). Paul also admits that he knows only “in part,” but he firmly believes that he will have full knowledge in eternity (1 Cor 13:12). So, if our knowledge of God and His purpose is incomplete, then in many matters we are simply ignorant or ill-informed. Everything that lies outside the sphere of revelation remains hidden to us and will not reveal its secrets even with the most careful examination. Only at the end of time will we achieve complete clarity on all issues. This means that we must equally accept both our knowledge and our ignorance. We need to be able to humbly admit our ignorance; we need a kind of reverent agnosticism about things that cannot be revealed to us.
That is exactly what Job did. He held firm to what he knew and refused to assert what he could not know. He didn't act like a know-it-all like his friends did. Something in life baffled him, but he was not ashamed to admit it and honestly brought his doubts to God. In the end God, despite Job's doubts, justified and restored him, and Job learned to refrain from premature and superficial judgments and trust in the Lord.
So far in this book I have presented arguments that are in favor of the Christian point of view and contrary to the worldly views of unbelievers. It is time to consider some of the difficulties that arise in the desire to ascertain the truth of the Christian faith. I do not want to shut myself off from other points of view, and therefore I intend to honestly consider the arguments aimed at against faith in Christ. This approach seems to me fair, since I myself would like my opponents to be as frank and impartial as possible.
If you doubt your sexuality - section Sociology, Sex in cinema and literature At a medical appointment, you often have to convince the patient that he is committing ...
At a medical appointment, it is often necessary to convince the patient that he is completely healthy, and his self-doubt and disruptions in sexual life are caused by character traits (for example, anxiety-suspecting type accentuation), misunderstood information on sexual hygiene, authoritarian behavior with a partner, or with a partner, etc. This applies both to representatives of the sexual majority, and to homo- and bisexuals.
Check yourself and you, the reader. Examine yourself on key questions about sexual behavior and make adjustments if necessary.
It is necessary to control the extent to which search sexual behavior and aggressiveness are repressed, whether your partner relationships are altruistic, how patiently and skillfully the love game is practiced in them.
It is necessary to analyze whether your life is filled enough with joint cultural growth (serious reading; listening to good music, not “pop”; visiting theaters, cinema, exhibitions of painting and sculpture, etc.). The thinner and richer the emotions, the more stable and brighter sexuality in all its manifestations is an axiom for a sexologist. Meanwhile, the main source of emotional improvement is art in all its forms. It brings people closer. Classical music lovers know that the perception of it in private and in a concert hall is not at all the same thing. In the same way, it shapes and sharpens feelings and fills both partners with love if they listen to it together.
If, after examining yourself on all these questions, you find omissions, correct them.
Sexual behavior and partnerships must meet the criteria of psychosexual maturity, love and altruism, which stabilizes sexual function. Auto-training, as well as exercises borrowed from tantra, will help prevent neurotic breakdowns in potency. Moreover, learn to manage yourself if these breakdowns are frequent and associated with the peculiarities of your character. And a feeling of insecurity, and suspicion, and a tendency to unmotivated mood swings, all that has been tormenting you since adolescence and making you unfree in life and love - all this is corrected by regular autogenic training. It will be a good help in your life in general and in your sexual life in particular.
Auto-training will provide an invaluable service to bisexuals who dream of having sexual intercourse with a person of the opposite sex, but cannot do this due to the weakness of their heterosexual potential and the anxious expectation of sexual failure. The reader is already aware of the role of training for those who had previously started a family, but, having come out of youthful hypersexuality, faced a sharp weakening of erection when close to their wife.
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Sex in cinema and literature
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Imagine: 1943. A young Belgian girl, aged 22 at the time, is arrested and sent to the Auschwitz concentration camp. She stayed there for thirteen months. She was not always in this camp: already losing the war, the Nazis transferred her from Auschwitz to the German city of Ravensburg.
When the war ended, this girl weighed 49 pounds. (about 23 kg - ed.). But when she had to fill out a form to return home to Belgium, she wrote “Excellent” in the “Health Status” column, even though she herself could barely move.
Finally she got home to her mother. Gradually, she began to gain weight, and six months later, she almost returned to her form. By the same time, her fiancé came back from the war. They merried. But this is what the doctor told her: “You can be married, but I can say with absolute certainty that you cannot become a mother. At least not in the next five years. And I can't guarantee you that your baby will be normal." And nine months later I was born. And yes, I'm not normal. As you understand, it was a story about my mother.
My mother always told me: “God saved my life so that I could give life to you. And giving you life, you gave me mine back. She raised me with the thought, "I suffered for you, so you don't have to suffer anymore." For her, I became the very symbol of freedom. So for me, being a woman has always been something special. I didn't have to break glass ceilings because I always worked for myself. I have always been proud to be a woman. And only now, after so many decades, only now, after these elections, I learned what sexism is. Until now, I've never had to deal with it.
First…
Second...
This motto of mine was born from the words of my mother: fear is not an option. As a child, I was very afraid of the dark and my mother could not understand why. To help overcome this fear, she locked me in a dark closet. It was, of course, not very humane, but it worked. And you know, when you are in a dark room, you gradually get used to it and understand that there is no pitch darkness.
Third…
The third principle was taught to me by my tai chi coach: focus on your goal. Here's how he explains it: “Many people come to my classes to get stronger. But if you focus on strength, nothing will come of it. If you focus on energy, you will eventually become inert. Think about your goal, work on it, polish it, if you do this, you will gain both strength and energy. I shared this principle with my husband. He did not understand. But if you understand, everything will work out. If not, forget it.
Fourth...
If you doubt your power, you empower your doubts. So never doubt yourself.
Fifth…
One last thing: wink at your reflection, smile at your shadow, and enjoy your life.
Source: What to do when you doubt you can achieve your dream
Translation: Balezin Dmitry
On the way to fulfilling your dreams, you will at times painfully doubt that you can achieve it. It's quite normal. This is not yet a reason to think that you are weak. In reality, doubt only serves the purpose of making you even stronger.
Usually doubts appear when something doesn't turn out the way you planned it. You may be failing your dream job interview. The bank does not give you a loan for your business. One of your clients is dropping you.
At this point, you fall into a dangerous downward spiral. You imagine the worst-case development scenario that will come true because what you are working on is not going according to plan. You feel a sense of oppression inside. You start to wonder if you should continue chasing your dream. Your hope is fading. Fears pile up. You are ready to throw in the towel in the ring.
1. Breathe
Deep breaths.
Inhale and exhale;
Inhale and exhale.
Deep breaths and exhalations.
In the process, you have to really concentrate on your breathing!
Why?
There are three reasons for this.
The moment you feel like you're at your worst, you're probably projecting a worst-case scenario far into the future. You must return to the present moment, for that is the only thing that matters. Not the past, not the future, just now.
As you focus on your breath, you begin to realize that YOU are in control of YOURSELF. You are taking back the power of personal responsibility. You are in control of yourself. You and no one else. Only YOU can either Create or Destroy YOURSELF.
Your brain may have been behaving like a tornado as you went into a downward spiral, thinking about every negative scenario imaginable. By concentrating on the breath, you return to simplicity. You clear your mind of negativity and all that is in your mind is just the process of breathing itself.
Once you've done all of this, what's next?
2. Focus on what you want
Stop focusing on what you DON'T want. This is what led you into the downward spiral in the first place. Now that you are back in the present moment and you know that you are in control, start focusing on what you wanted to see happen.
Visualize them. Again and again in your mind, repeat your ultimate goal that you want to achieve. It shifts your focus away from your fears and back to your dreams.
3. Ask HOW?
I love the word "How". Ask yourself: “How can you move towards your goal Today? List some actions you can take Today in order to move towards the goal and reduce all doubts and fears. Follow these steps!
The reason the "how" question is so powerful is because it allows you to bypass (avoid) any remaining doubts you have. The very nature of the word "how" implies or allows for the fact that you believe in your success. How can I apply for this job? How can I get this business development loan? How can I return a client? You already know it's coming. Now, it's just a matter of "how" it will happen.
Then, starting to act in this direction, you will notice how your fears and doubts will begin to dissipate. You will be back in your flow.
Many people try to immediately jump into "action mode" when things are going badly. In reality, this doesn't work. You must return to the present moment; realize that you are in control of the situation; focus on what you want; find out what you can do now and how to get what you want, and THEN do those things.
First restore your base. Then act.
You will feel much better afterwards. I guarantee it to you.
When things don't go the way you planned; when the number of visitors to your site is not growing fast enough; when your business brings less profit than you expected; when your athletic performance remains the same and you cannot go over the limit - reassess the situation.
First, express gratitude for what you have already achieved. After all, most likely, quite recently, these results were unattainable for you.
Let's look at specific examples:
… I think you get the point.
Just two steps and you're back on track: Gratitude and Reappraisal (reading between the lines).
Good luck: "Don't give up and don't give up."
Copyright © 2007 Dmitry Balezin
