It's difficult to give specific advice here because each person has their own unique path. In general, we can say that physical exercises to develop and revitalize the body should be interspersed with mental work. This, however, applies to every character.
Physical exercise or some kind of physical activity, for example, around the house, should initially be very primitive and minimal in time. The main thing in them is to experience a feeling of pleasure because the body moves, works and can do some things. Even if it takes a few minutes, it will be pleasure and joy that something works out. This feeling of pleasure must be allowed to spread throughout the body and be remembered, then later it will be much easier to return to physical actions. There should be no violence against oneself, only a feeling of pleasure. Then he will gradually begin to feel his power in the physical world.
Another very important aspect of working with yourself, which also applies to other characters, is to begin to explore and, ultimately, feel those characteristic tensions that have been described for a given character. Since body and mind are one and each reflects the other, by exploring and feeling tension you will be directly in touch with the blocks that form that character. The good thing about working with tension and pain is that you can feel it all directly. They are in the body, and not somewhere in an unknown subconscious. They can be felt, experienced and released.
The schizoid needs to begin to define who he is. As you remember, new thoughts expand our boundaries, but in this case, since the boundaries are blurred, we need to set them. By the way, a sign of blurred boundaries on the external plane will be that if, for example, he has a dacha, then the fence at the dacha will either be absent altogether, or, no matter how much you fix it, will fall down, or there will be many holes in it through which animals will regularly enter the site and destroy the fruits of labor. In a house or apartment, there will always be something wrong with the doors, especially the entrance ones.
If we talk about mental work, this is working with one’s own fears and negative emotions. The schizoid needs to start facing his anger, letting it rise and letting it go. This can be done during meditation, some kind of physical exercise or housework, then the muscles rub against each other, and anger is better released.
Here you can note the following points of working with yourself. If you, having noticed schizoid traits in yourself, begin to take a closer look at your thoughts or actions regarding relationships with other people, you will notice that the following creeps into them:
the thought: “I will reject you before you reject me.” This statement is a mask. All you have to do here is start looking at your connections and become aware of this pattern of behavior: avoiding intimacy and living your life alone. In parallel, of course, many other things will happen. When you do this, you will see the mask in all its glory. Then she will retreat.
By withdrawing, the mask will reveal your so-called lower self or base emotions. (Be careful, maybe this is already happening to you.) They will tell you: “And you don’t exist either.” What is meant here is that a schizoid is not aware of himself, the people around him, or the world around him. They are unreal to him because he has separated himself from them. Start getting acquainted with this vision, without judging or denying anything, start just looking at it.
After some time, and maybe immediately after you see this, a more highly organized part of your “I” will rise to the surface, which will say: “I really exist!” These words will contain amazement, interest, the discovery of new horizons, and many other positive emotions. This will be - or this has already begun to happen for you - a breath of something fresh, new, unusual. Then it may go away, but if you continue to work on yourself, after a while the emotions will return. This will continue repeatedly, the time intervals between departures and arrivals will become less and less, until this state of life is fixed forever.
When working with yourself, be honest when you look within.
And - the last thing. I have noticed that perhaps the most effective remedy for a schizoid who intends to overcome his fear of action and fears of the outside world is play. Play! It will work out - it will work out; it won't work - it won't work. There is no attachment to the result, no assessments, no comparisons, but there is only play and testing of strength.
The game allows you to unleash your creative powers, and it also allows you to feel the freshness of feelings at every moment. That's the whole point.
Core Beliefs
These are beliefs or thoughts that often come to the mind of a schizoid. Here they are:
1. Something wrong is happening to me.
2. If I allow myself to act, I will be destroyed.
3. If I allow the life force to come out, I will be destroyed.
4. I chose the wrong planet/wrong time.
5. I can't trust myself and my body.
6. I don't belong to this world.
7. I am an outcast in this world.
8. My fate is loneliness.
9. I will be torn to pieces/I will split myself into pieces.
10. I will reject you before you reject me.
11. And you are not alive either/And you also do not exist/do not live.
Higher Self
Again, we gravitate towards the division into higher and lower, so assessments involuntarily begin to arise that one of them is better and the other worse. The higher self exists only because the lower self exists - it is the lower self that allows it to manifest itself in its own way and be called higher. They are inseparable from each other and feed each other. Our language is imperfect, that's why I have to use these terms.
Schizoids are very spiritual people gifted with countless talents. The only trouble is that they are afraid to bring their talents to life; they deny and are afraid of it. They have a rich imagination and are brilliant thinkers with many innovative ideas. They are very sensitive and receptive natures, so there are many creative people among them. And they have very strong intuition.
If people who have schizoid character traits in their personality structure overcome their fears of the world, they will be able to give a lot to both humanity and themselves.
New thoughts
The thoughts that are given below do not, of course, pretend to be complete, correct or fully cover the problem of a schizoid nature. Therefore, I remind you once again that you are your own authorities in composing new thought forms.
1. Since the external is equal to the internal, since the external reflects what is inside me, what should happen to me happens. I look around and inside myself carefully. I am relaxing. Only what should happen happens to me. I begin to connect with the world.
2. I am already in some sense destroyed/destroyed. I open up to life. I'm starting to learn how to act. I allow my life energy to manifest itself outside. If it works, it will work, if it doesn’t work, it won’t work.
3. I chose the planet that I need at the moment; I chose the best time for myself to deal with myself and the world. There couldn't be a better place or time.
4. My body is the most perfect creation of nature. It has evolved over billions of years and contains everything I need to understand myself and act effectively in this world. I always learn perfection from my body. I let him act and live. I trust him.
5. Since I have a body, therefore, I already belong to this world. I accept it, I accept my physical existence.
6. People, those who need it, welcome me with pleasure. Every day I take a step towards people, towards the world.
7. I open up and let my anger flow. I'm letting him go. I'm safe.
8. My fears and anxieties only prevent me from living. I look at them, I let them go. This world and this life are for me. I'm here now.
9. You can live and survive without splitting yourself, especially since this is clearly visible in other types of characters. I let go of my fears, they begin to leave me in the order they need and for me. I allow myself to become one.
10. I accept people into my life. I enjoy communicating with them. I communicate with friends and acquaintances as much as I need, then part ways to meet again. I accept the world and enjoy communicating with nature.
11. Every minute, every moment I look into myself, at friends, loved ones, people, animals, insects, trees, grass, in order to see and realize again and again that they are alive. I search and find life everywhere."
Vladimir Zhikarentsev. Book 3 "The Path to Freedom": "Looking Inward"
Each person has individual character traits, and the combination of some of them makes it possible determine his personality type.
The main signs of a schizoid personality type are isolation, detachment, emotional coldness, and taciturnity. They are smart and have atypical interests.
General information
Schizoidity - what is it in psychology and who is a schizoid? Schizoid personality type cannot be considered pathological, despite the fact that schizoids seem a little eccentric to most people.
The schizoid type is included in classification of character accentuations along with other types, such as conformal, sensitive, astheno-neurotic and others.
Accentuation- a personal characteristic that is within the boundaries of the medical norm, in which some of the characteristics are expressed excessively, therefore a person belonging to a certain type of accentuation is more vulnerable when exposed to some conditions and more stable when exposed to others.
Such people, for example, are partially predisposed to the development of certain mental illnesses, because they have increased sensitivity in some aspects, but accentuations in themselves are not a mental illness.
People with a schizoid personality type are able to achieve success in creative professions, in intellectual, research areas, but it is more difficult for them than other people to express their emotions and communicate.
Accentuations have been compared to personality disorders. The line between them is really thin, but there are a number of differences between accentuation and disorder:
Schizoid personality disorder(previously called schizoid psychopathy) manifests itself much more strongly than schizoid accentuation, but has characteristics similar to it.
People with this disorder:
- unsociable;
- withdrawn from society;
- have little or no interest in creating close social connections;
- they like to fantasize and reason;
- live in their inner world and rarely leave it;
- have a narrow range of emotions;
- poorly adapted for the everyday side of life;
- have developed abstract thinking.
Schizoids also have unusual hobbies: they are interested in science, creativity, philosophy, sometimes the theory of religion, yoga.
Psychotypes
Stenichny
Schizoids of this type have high efficiency, are persistent, pragmatic, purposeful, but their attention is focused on narrow areas of activity, beyond which they practically do not go.
If their interests are directly related to work, they will show extreme workaholism in it, which will benefit their realization as specialists.
However, areas where skill interact with people stands in the foreground, are usually not of interest to them.
Low emotionality allows them to better cope with stressful situations, since they view them from a rational rather than emotional point of view and perceive them as tasks that need to be solved as quickly and efficiently as possible.
Sthenic schizoids also have little contact with colleagues, only out of necessity, have no friends, and show despotism in communication.
Sensitive
Schizoids belonging to this psychotype overly vulnerable, react painfully to any critical remarks. Their psycho-emotional state rapidly deteriorates as soon as those around them begin to treat them with insufficient, in their opinion, understanding.
They are prone to depressive and anxiety disorders, and can lose appetite and sleep if something doesn’t go the way they wanted.
If the life of sensitive schizoids becomes more complicated, harder, they tend to move away from reality, go into fantasies and hobbies. Human society is not attractive to them, but they usually have a few close people whom they trust.
Change frightens sensitive schizoids, so they strive to make their life as stable and calm as possible.
Schizoid-hysteroid personality type
Refers to mixed types, but since the word “schizoid” appears at the beginning, we can conclude that it is this type that prevails in the personality structure, and the hysterical one is secondary.
To classic schizoid traits hysterical ones are added: mannerism, capriciousness, increased self-confidence, the desire to keep up with fashion trends, the desire to stand out from the crowd.
To be brighter than others, a schizo-hysteroid can try to reveal yourself in appearance(preference is given to bright outfits, non-standard hair color, rich makeup) and in the intellectual sphere, which is expressed in the desire to demonstrate mental superiority at every opportunity.
Also, hysterical traits slightly improve the empathic abilities of a schizoid.
However, such people still tend to lead a rather secluded lifestyle, their artistry and mannerisms are not as pronounced as those of classic hysterics, and they are also less touchy and sensitive.
Expansive
Schizoids of this type are domineering, have developed strong-willed qualities, show considerable perseverance when trying to achieve their goal. They tend to go over their heads, if necessary to obtain the best result, and ignore the opinions of others.
Their empathic abilities are extremely poorly developed, so they cannot fully empathize and often go through life alone, which does not become a problem for them.
Many schizoids belonging to this type show cruelty in relation to others.
They also overreact to traumatic situations, and if the problem persists for a long time, they tend to withdraw into themselves or betray paranoid reactions, psychoses, which is partly due to their inability to cope with experiences in other ways.
There is also expansive-schizoid accentuation, in which a person has a character type similar to expansive-schizoid personality disorder.
But, as mentioned earlier, accentuations are different from disorders. Therefore, a person with this accentuation will be less cruel, will avoid pronounced desocialization, and over time its features may be partially smoothed out.
How to recognize schizophrenia in men? Find out about this from ours.
Schizoid woman
For girls of this type self-development and your own inner world are much more important than following the stereotypes common in society about how a woman should behave, so they do not care excessively about their appearance, they are taciturn, but their sharp mind and unusual outlook on life make them stand out from the crowd.
The house of a schizoid woman is often in disarray, which is due to her significant immersion in hobbies and fantasies. She is comfortable in this environment, and she does not believe that she is obliged to behave any differently.
Like male schizoids, girls of the schizoid type are reluctant to get close to others, avoid building close emotional connections, have difficulty expressing feelings, and find it difficult to empathize with others.
They also have little interest in sexual and romantic relationships, so they may consciously choose to be alone and devote your life to self-development.
Schizoid mother
It is difficult to be a woman of the schizoid type, because motherhood is a huge emotional work for which schizoids are poorly adapted.
Therefore, many mothers behave distantly with the child, concentrate on his intellectual development, and not on his emotional one.
Children in such families grow up restrained in emotional expressions, rational, intelligent and can acquire obvious schizoid traits.
But there is another side: some of the schizoid mothers begin to overprotect their children. They are restless, and their anxiety becomes the driving force that suppresses the child.
When he is small, this is not too noticeable, but later this can lead to problems: an older child not independent, emotionally attached to mother.
Signs of a schizoid personality type in children, adolescents, adults:
Famous people of the schizoid type
People of the schizoid type are a treasure trove of different abilities, and their determination, developed intelligence and ability to work for a long time to solve a certain problem give them the opportunity to achieve a lot in life. Therefore, there are a lot of famous people among schizoids.
They are considered schizoid:
- Van Gogh;
- Albert Einstein;
- Immanuel Kant;
- Salvador Dali;
- Johann Bach;
- Marie Skłodowska-Curie;
- Pierre Curie;
- Dmitry Mendeleev;
- Ludwig van Beethoven;
- Arthur Schopenhauer.
Causes and risk group
The development of schizoid disorder is influenced by a wide range of external and internal causes. The main ones:
IN risk group are:
- children raised in orphanages;
- men (this disorder is less common in women);
- children of people with schizoid disorder or with disorders that prevent them from revealing their emotional side (Asperger's syndrome, depression).
Features of behavior
Schizoid disorder, or, in other words, schizoid psychopathy, is accompanied by the following behavioral characteristics:
- Sensitivity towards what is important and indifference to everything else. A schizoid reacts extremely sharply if an unpleasant situation is connected with something that is dear to him to one degree or another, that he has allowed into his inner circle, but he is indifferent to everything that is not included in this circle.
If, for example, someone wants to throw out a lovingly collected collection of candy wrappers, the schizoid will not like this very much, but the news that his work colleague, whom he sees every day, is seriously ill, will not agitate him.
- Extremes in the expression of emotions. The emotional states of schizoid psychopaths are close to polarity: they are either delighted or hateful. They are also characterized by indifference.
- Lack of awareness of everyday issues. In everyday life, schizoids often show helplessness. If you ask them a question related to their scientific hobbies, you can get a multi-hour lecture with a lot of complex terms, but they pay minimal attention to the everyday side of life and sometimes need help.
- Motor features. Schizoids are clumsy, restrained in gestures, angular, lacking flexibility.
Also schizoids often have no family.
About the main symptoms of schizoid personality disorder in this video:
The Danger of Personality Disorder
Is it dangerous? The most pronounced schizoid traits appear in adolescence, but by the age of 30-40, many people with this disorder experience a moderate softening of the most pronounced aspects of their personality.
Schizoids do not pose any danger to people around them. Their personal characteristics are more of a problem for themselves, and not for others, because their detachment, self-absorption, and oddities become a reason for ridicule and humiliation, especially in adolescence and adolescence.
Also, older schizoids experience difficulties when trying to adapt to society.
How to cure anxiety disorder? you will find on our website.
Treatment
It is impossible to cure schizoid disorder, but psychotherapeutic treatment can mitigate its manifestations, help a person adapt to society, better understand your emotional needs.
Methods are widely used in the treatment of this deviation.
Medications are ineffective in treating this disorder, but when severe, they may be prescribed. Are used:
- antipsychotics. They are used if a schizoid seeks to completely withdraw from others (Risperidone);
- beta blockers and benzodiazepines when anxiety occurs (Anaprilin, Phenazepam).
The dosage is selected by the attending physician depending on the patient's condition.
A schizoid who has received psychotherapeutic treatment is able to maintain the number of social connections he needs. Some schizoids successfully find partners.
About the treatment of schizoid personality disorder in this video:
Life and communication
How to live and communicate with a schizoid? Advice for people who live with a schizoid and communicate with him:
Schizoids are happy to communicate with intelligent, erudite people who, when communicating, concentrate on their discoveries and hobbies.
Possibility of military service
Young man with schizoid personality disorder exempt from military service. Also, a person with this personality disorder will not be able to obtain a driver’s license in Russia.
But schizoid accentuation is not a contraindication either for military service or for driving vehicles.
It is important for those close to a schizoid to treat his characteristics with understanding, do not complicate his contacts with the inner world, and then his life will be comfortable.
Consequences of schizoid personality disorder. Driving and the army in schizoid psychopathy:
People with a schizoid character type are always significantly different from those around them, and have their own special characteristics that manifest themselves in many areas of life. These eccentricities are visible in the style of clothing, manner of communication, and peculiar gait. For people with a schizoid personality type, reality does not represent the basis for perceiving the world. Being a phlegmatic person, a person mainly moves mechanically, sometimes pretentiously, jumping or shuffling. In this case, it is quite obvious that his internal attitudes are not in harmony with the demands made by the external world.
The schizoid personality type is characterized by a fragmented understanding of reality, despite the fact that various little things are given inordinately great importance, and at the same time, the key facts of certain situations are absolutely not taken into account and are regarded as secondary. Such people try to notice special meaning in those things and events that most people around them do not pay attention to. Another feature of the schizoid type is isolation. It is expressed in the fact that very often it is simply impossible to know what emotions are possessing a person, since a schizoid personality can look completely calm in a difficult situation, and internal feelings do not manifest themselves in any way, the person’s face remains impassive.
The activities of an individual with a schizoid character type are always based on their own interests, and this is a serious obstacle to various social contacts. When communicating with an interlocutor, a person with a schizoid personality type often behaves tactlessly, not taking into account the opinions of others. New acquaintances are always perceived as overly suspicious, and if we are talking about empathy or sympathy, then this is definitely not about him. The schizoid type is characterized by the manifestation of selfishness on a constant basis. As for professional activities, such people usually succeed in a narrow specialization. For example, a scientist can devote his entire life to one project, a physician persistently promotes a personally developed technique, even if it is not officially recognized.
A person with a schizoid personality type tends to defend new scientific ideas and create his own style in any direction. It is known that most collectors have a schizoid type of character, and therefore they are always obsessed with their hobby. At work, such people are valued for their unobtrusive and tactful behavior and their obligatory attitude towards their duties. Management often sets them up as an example, assessing their business acumen, which is devoid of emotion. The circle of friends of people with the schizoid type is quite stable; they maintain contact with close friends throughout their lives. But it is quite difficult for them to establish informal relationships with colleagues at a new place of work. The more those around you show persistence, the deeper the withdrawal into yourself occurs.
Schizoids are very independent individuals, and this quality forces them to independently study any project. That is, such an employee achieves everything himself, although in some cases one could simply ask. In this regard, his qualifications improve over time. In this case, it is especially important that the schizoid takes into account the opinions of other specialists. If this is achieved, the team will work very productively.
In people with a schizoid personality type, character traits appear already in childhood, at the age of three or four. Such kids like to devote their time to solitary and quiet activities; they are not interested in active communication with peers. Also, children with a schizoid character type do not experience special attachment to close people, including family members. If a child develops schizoid psychopathy, then he early begins to become interested in complex problems in the field of philosophy. During the school period, schizoids demonstrate logical thinking; sometimes such children show extraordinary abilities in mathematics. At the same time, in everyday life they have many problems, since it is difficult for them to adapt to everyday life.
One of the most important features of the schizoid character type is the development of schizoid psychopathy in a person. It can occur if certain signs of schizoidism become extremely pronounced. In addition, in this case the person loses the ability to adapt socially. If the resulting schizoid psychopathy is moderate, then the person, even with complete social inability, often achieves significant results in the field of art and science. If a severe form of this disorder has developed, it is characterized by the desire to completely isolate oneself from communication with others and to remain alone.
For every patient who admits that his character is really close to a schizoid type of behavior, experts recommend paying attention to the manner of communication with relatives and close people. The first recommendation is to learn how to express positive emotions. You should be aware of the special line beyond which even decent personality traits, strengthened many times, are perceived as negative. For example, if people perceive ordinary restraint as good traits, then in its excessive manifestation detachment and isolation already arise. The presence of any active position in a person is recognized as an important quality, but communication skills are of particular value in the modern world.
There are few such people, 1–2%. They don't like to be approached too closely and often scare people away with their particular behavior. Many people consider them “not like that.” But they are used to it.
After my book was published, readers often come up to me to thank me for information that has helped them or their work. But people with schizoid personality types send me emails saying, “thank you.” They thank me for the fact that my description contains no hint of their exaggerated oddities.
People with schizoid personality types use detachment as a defense mechanism. They leave - from people, into loneliness, into the world of their own fantasies. They always choose a distance, and they do not need other distorting defenses: denial, dissociation (separation of themselves from their unpleasant experiences), repression. Perhaps this is why they are often aware of processes that for others occur unconsciously.
Americans have a proverb: “The elephant is in the room, but no one notices it.” People with a schizoid personality type always see this elephant and are surprised that it is invisible to others. But when they try to talk about this elephant, they are looked at as crazy.
To avoid difficulties in communication, they prefer activities that they can indulge in alone. To not be in a group, a team. Many of them are busy with creativity, interested in philosophy, spiritual practices, meditation...
However, we are unlikely to meet a person with a schizoid personality type who does not have at least some degree of desire for attachment.
But there is a problem: while striving for intimacy, they experience an overload from excessive intimacy, it suppresses and oppresses them. As a rule, they feel better in the company of children and animals.
The child grows up to be extremely sensitive. He reacts to stimuli as if they hurt him
I was recently asked whether people with schizoid personality types and autistic people are similar. I think they have something in common. For example, both of them do not like excessive attention. But there is one significant difference - autistic people do not understand the feelings of other people. They don’t know that a child needs to be hugged... But they can be taught this. And a person with a schizoid personality type knows from the very beginning that the child must be picked up. But he cannot do this; he avoids contact in every possible way, since it is unbearable for him.
Their childhood
The child grows up to be extremely sensitive. He reacts to stimuli as if they were causing him pain. Moreover, to a variety of stimuli: sound, light, any changes, tactile sensations (like tags on clothes scratching the skin). When we take such a child in our arms, he does not cuddle, but moves away, his body becomes rigid.
Children with a schizoid personality type often refuse to breastfeed. They feel completely unprotected, and any contact is perceived by them as an invasion, a violation of their integrity. Even if this invasion is the mother's nipple in the mouth. It can be assumed that their skin is too thin.
I once shared this observation with my patient: I said that it was as if I was sitting next to a person who had a burn. He needs help, he needs to be touched, but this cannot be done, because any touch is intolerable. This metaphor seemed true and appropriate to her.
I repeat: as a defense, a person with a schizoid personality type prefers care. But he also feels separation from someone very acutely. Why? The fact is that he is already willing to let only a few people close to him, and the loss of one of these people would mean the disappearance of a very significant part of the support system. Such people become attached to others, but in their company it is difficult not to feel lonely.
Schizoid and others
Schizoids cannot tolerate superficial communication. My husband was a person with a schizoid personality type. On those rare occasions when I managed to persuade him to go on a visit with me, he immediately found a child or a dog and spent the entire evening with them. Talking about nothing was killing him. He needed sincerity and honesty. That is why, from the point of view of a schizoid person, a hysterical person is simply... a liar.
The fact is that for a hysteric the main defense is exaggeration. Imagine with what intonation a woman can pronounce the phrase: “I’m sooooo angry with my husband!” For her, this method of communication is a defense, she wants what she says to be taken seriously, and it seems to her that if she says it more quietly, they will not believe her.
Schizoid men love hysterical women for their sensitivity, warmth, and emotionality.
The combination of people with schizoid and hysterical personality types is difficult. At the same time, there is a long love story between them. Hysterical women find schizoid men extremely attractive. They value honesty, integrity, self-sufficiency in them... And schizoid men love hysterical women for their sensitivity, warmth, and emotionality.
But together they can drive each other crazy. Because when she feels bad, she tries to move closer to him, and he moves away. When he sees that she is not well, he thinks that the best thing he can do for her is to leave her alone. And she feels abandoned.
Features of schizoids
There are many contradictions in people with a schizoid personality type. They appear distant and uninterested, but they themselves live with a deep desire for intimacy. They are self-sufficient, but need another person. Extremely absent-minded and extremely attentive.
They seem inactive and unemotional, but inside they are active and emotions are seething. They look asexual and ascetic, but they have a lot of impulsiveness and powerful sexual fantasies.
If a schizoid is sure that you will not consider him crazy, he will gradually tell you a lot of interesting things about the world of his fantasies
I once asked a psychoanalyst with a schizoid personality type why psychology doesn’t pay so much attention to schizoid dynamics. He replied: “Do you think WE can start some kind of social movement?” Sometimes I feel like I'm in some way an ambassador for a silent singles community... that doesn't do very well with PR! But I do it sincerely.
The inner life of a person with a schizoid personality type is very attractive. If he is sure that you will not consider him crazy, gradually, trusting you more and more, he will tell you a lot of interesting things about the world of his fantasies.
A schizoid friend of mine once admitted that she doesn’t eat raisins. I assumed she didn't like the taste. “No,” she replied, “you don’t understand, he could be a fly!” I told my other friend about this, whose husband is schizoid. She immediately said that her husband doesn’t eat raisins either. True, he argues differently: he does not trust the raisins that are hidden in the buns. Charming! The whole world seems animated to them. In this sense, they are like children.
How to behave with them?
- Such people avoid contact and are easily frightened. They need as much space as possible to feel safe. The therapist should avoid invading the patient's territory, I would not recommend moving forward too quickly, asking awkward questions - so that they do not feel like an "interesting clinical case." They cannot stand insincerity and lies; it is important to be absolutely truthful, real, and honest.
- One of the difficulties: often therapeutic relationships become more comfortable for them than relationships with real, ordinary people in everyday life. You may find that although the person came to you with the desire to become more sociable, during the course of treatment he did not achieve this. Towards the end of therapy, he needs to be pushed a little by asking whether he managed to solve the issue with which he came.
- It is important that a person with a schizoid personality type knows that you consider him normal.
- It is difficult for such people to talk about feelings. Even if they want it. The very act of speaking is painful for them. Try to find an indirect way to talk about what is important: discuss films, plays, music... My colleague spent many weeks talking to a patient about... pizza. In details: where in the city they make the best one, why it is so good, and so on. At the same time, they both understood that they were not talking about pizza, but about internal hunger, about how to satisfy it. And what does a person feel when he needs one thing, but is offered something completely different?
about the author
Nancy McWilliams- psychoanalyst. Author of the book “Psychoanalytic Diagnostics,” which describes different personality types (narcissistic, hysterical, depressive, schizoid and others), shows their characteristics, similarities and differences, prevailing emotions and affects, drives and defenses; tells how a person perceives himself and how others see him.
Apparent coldness and closedness, the desire to keep distance, love of solitude, honesty, a tendency to analyze and theorize everything, often a creative mind and high intelligence, a complete or partial lack of empathy, a categorical denial of manipulation and other “social games” - traits of a classic schizoid.
According to an American psychoanalyst Nancy McWilliams, there are not so many schizoids on the planet - only 1-2% of people. It is not difficult to recognize them: the first signs of a schizoid personality type appear at an early age. These children are hypersensitive: they react sharply to external noise, large crowds of people and absolutely do not accept too aggressive intrusion into their space. So, if children of another type can be drawn to strangers, then the schizoid tries in every possible way to “disconnect” from the reality that frightens him - to leave, hide, fall asleep.
Instead of social games that irritate him, such a child prefers to read or draw alone. At the same time, he feels happy. It seems as if the schizoid does not need people at all. Over time, an adult may be considered strange, insensitive and even asocial: this is precisely the first impression he often makes. However, it is deceptive: a schizoid extremely values communication and human warmth, is capable of understanding and loving, but the presence of people in his life must be measured, otherwise he feels in danger.
The desire to move away and win the right to one’s territory often manifests itself even physically - schizoids will not pull their chair towards you, strive to live in the same room with you and spend several weeks in a row together. It is very important for their integrity and harmony to have at least the potential opportunity to close the door from time to time and relax in solitude, which seems to them more beautiful than frightening.
Psychologists say that people with a schizoid personality type do not have the same energy resources as others. That is why they cannot stand empty talk, long-term conflicts, or psychological manipulation. All this seems to them artificial, unprofitable, and simply meaningless.
As a rule, this explains the narrow social circle of a schizoid. Such people are not inclined to make acquaintances for the sake of acquaintances. Sometimes it can be difficult to understand what they are thinking and feeling. This is due to the extreme selectivity of schizoids. Only those closest to them, those who were able to earn trust with their caring and careful attitude, receive the key to their inner world.
External apparent coldness and detachment (the key word is apparent) sometimes make people think about pathologies. But schizoidism is not a disease. Psychotherapist Evgenia Belyakova explains:
“Outwardly they are cold, their facial expressions are poor. At the same time, there is a very rich inner world inside. This is different from schizophrenia, in which the world is poor.”
Like people of other psychological types (narcissists and hysterics), a schizoid has its own defense system. As a rule, one dominates among them - avoiding a frustrating object or situation. As soon as a schizoid feels discomfort or danger, he withdraws as much as possible and tries in any way to leave the reality that does not suit him. Most often, a schizoid resorts to escaping into his fantasies. Physically, his distance can be literal - the schizoid leaves a place or person (often without explaining anything), loses himself in alcohol or drugs, or simply falls asleep.
Sometimes this trait makes him “weird” in the eyes of others. The straightforwardness of the departures irritates with its honest message - the schizoid does not see the point in pretense and social games. He refuses to participate in any kind of manipulation. According to Nancy McWilliams
« They always choose a distance, and they do not need other distorting defenses: denial, dissociation (separation of themselves from their unpleasant experiences), repression. Perhaps this is why they are often aware of processes that for others occur unconsciously.
Americans have a proverb: “The elephant is in the room, but no one notices it.” People with a schizoid personality type always see this elephant and are surprised that it is invisible to others. But when they try to talk about this elephant, they look at them like they’re crazy.”
Despite the fact that schizoids usually understand their nature and do not suffer particularly, there is a moment of drama in their lives. It is no coincidence that the concept of “schizoid” etymologically means splitting, splitting. Striving to preserve themselves and the familiar, already established world, they are in dire need of warmth and love. However, often an overly aggressive invasion of a partner is perceived by a schizoid as a threat to his existence. The more the partner strives to take over the personal space of the schizoid, the more likely it is that this union will break up.
The idea that a schizoid cannot love is a myth. Such people are prone to sincere and very deep feelings. However, relationships with them turn into a real test for many, since when approaching a schizoid, one has to constantly take into account his desire to preserve his individuality, refusal to completely merge with his partner, and sometimes the need for separate housing.
People of a different type need to understand that the detachment of a schizoid is not synonymous with indifference. However, merging and absorption by another person seems to a schizoid a catastrophe, literally incompatible with life. At some stage of the relationship, trying to get closer, the schizoid himself may try to merge with his partner. But psychotherapeutic practice shows that as a result, these people feel extremely uncomfortable and inevitably begin to fight for their space.
The outcome of this conflict depends on both partners. And here it is important to understand that schizoids also come in different types. Evgenia Belyakova notes that schizoidism can be both sensitive - when a person feels that it can be difficult with him and tries to learn how to interact better with people (while maintaining the full set of schizoid qualities, but expanding social skills), and icy, when inaccessibility, the snobbery and coldness of the schizoid are elevated to the absolute. Of course, it is almost impossible to sustain an alliance with the second type. However, in the first case, there is every chance of building deep and fruitful interaction.
For example, a schizoid, often being incapable of words of support and expressions of love to the extent required by his partner, can prove his feelings with real actions. And his partner can work on his ego and literally stop smothering the other with his love and affection. Indeed, for a schizoid, the main condition for maintaining a union is personal security, and the partner’s desire to respect the boundaries of the schizoid personality over time results in the building of truly strong, long-term and trusting relationships.
