On the one hand, you can see many happy and loving couples, but it is not clear, because you need to continue to love and be together. There are many reasons for this, but you need to know the most basic reasons for separation so as not to end up in the same situation.
In this article, psychologists will tell you about why do people break up when they love each other, how to prevent this in your family or relationship. After all, outwardly we see happy couples, but internally we understand that these people will soon separate.
'Cause love isn't real
Not everyone understands what love is and accordingly believe that if people are together, then they love each other. Today it is rare to see people who are truly in love and this is a big problem. People have not learned to take care of what they have and began to invent the illusion of love, creating it even on the Internet. The reason why people break up when they love each other is because they don't really love each other and haven't loved each other.
Because there are no common interests
Main reason, why do people break up
the fact that there are no common interests and views on life. These people just meet and they don’t even have anything to talk about with each other. Because of this, they break up, without even trying to find at least something in common, which can definitely be found in every person, if there is a desire. Find out: how to find a worthy husband, since women are looking for a real man, but they themselves do not want to become real women.
They do not understand the meaning of further relationships
Often all relationships are created on emotions and when a couple begins to think logically, they do not find the meaning of further relationships and this is the reason why people break up when they love each other, because their love was just affection.
Interests have changed
It happens that people date for a long time, but with age their interests and outlook on life change and they need something different in life. Differences in interests begin and, as a result, people break up. But if there was a desire, we could stay together and form new common interests.
People rush to create relationships
Especially modern youth, they are constantly in a hurry to get somewhere and try to try everything. Here why do people break up when they love each other, because they confuse falling in love, affection with true love. True love will never allow people to separate and betray each other, and this is a problem, since few people truly love. Don’t rush into a serious relationship, be friends and hang out together for at least 1-2 years. Then it will become clear whether you need each other spiritually or not.
Betrayal, betrayal
The main reason why people break up when they love each other is, of course, betrayal and betrayal in a relationship or family. People do not love each other and seek pleasure in other people, hiding it. When the truth comes true, the couple is disappointed and breaks up. After all, there is no point in living with someone who cheats and gives.
Love disappears
Many believe the reason why people break up when they love each other, then that love has gone and passed. This does not happen, love cannot pass, since true love always exists and will be in our hearts, we just don’t want to feel it, and we continue to create artificial love for ourselves and believe in it. For this reason, not only couples, but also families break up within three years of marriage. Find out: how to meet a guy to create a truly lasting relationship for life.
The main thing is not to rush to create a family and relationships, because no one is stopping you from just being friends and dating at first. And when you realize that you love, then after three years, you can create a serious relationship and family. And if there are no feelings, then you will simply remain friends, and will not suffer like many others because of what did not happen, because of affection, and not because of love.
Always keep love in your heart and then you will never stop loving and will fall in love with the person who really loves you and wants to be with you all your life.
Love and Science
For many years, world scientists have been trying to understand the question of what makes women fall in love with men and vice versa. There are few conclusions, they are short and we all know them. Men by nature prefer to love with their eyes, and women with their ears. These are not just words - it is actually backed by science. Scientists also say that we fall in love not under the influence of a fleeting impulse, but out of necessity. We subconsciously find the person who will most contribute to the continuation of our family. But recently new surprising facts have been revealed. Scientists have proven that love really exists!
As a result of research, American psychologists have proven that our brain contains separate zones responsible for love experiences. And when our loved one thinks about us, sees us, communicates, these zones become very active. Moreover, these zones “clog” the work of other important zones. For example, the zone responsible for critical understanding of reality, social assessment and anger. Therefore, if your loved one walks around with a constant smile on his face, then he is not crazy, he just truly loves you. Just for what?
Love and the subconscious
No one wants to believe that we are loved only because of the effect of pheromones. But this is largely true. These are substances that are produced along with sweat and, on a subconscious level, attract a sexual partner. Pheromones act indiscriminately; we cannot always explain the principle of their “work”. That is why “good” girls sometimes choose “bad” guys, or outwardly unattractive girls fall in love with beautiful girls, and at the same time their feelings are mutual. We often explain this attachment between people who are unlike each other in our own way: opposites attract. This is not entirely true in essence, but the result is very similar to the truth. Two people who are similar in every way can easily get bored together. Conflicts can often arise on this basis. And yet, if two people have a similar temperament, then living in a family is not at all easy for them. If both are passive, then there is no one to make decisions, things simply remain unresolved, problems accumulate like a snowball. If both partners are leaders, then the situation is also not easy. Everyone will strive for leadership, will not give in in resolving issues, and will not tolerate insubordination.
Sometimes, in order to save yourself from questions, you can come up and ask your loved one directly why he loves you. But the answer usually doesn’t suit us much. Most likely, the partner will begin to list individual external traits or character traits. For example, your boyfriend may say: “You are so beautiful, cheerful, not like everyone else, etc.” An older man, if he thinks to say something, then something like: “You are caring, sexy, affectionate, original, etc.” Please note that this will be an ordinary “standard” set of those qualities that attract men in women, and women in men.
Sometimes such an answer will indeed look more like a stereotype than a plausible one. But on a subconscious level, we are loved for a completely different reason. For example, a girl suddenly fell in love with a man twice her age. Why did it happen? He can be perfect in any way, but in general this happened only because the girl grew up without a father and subconsciously looked for a man who could be her support, protection, who would raise her due to his greater life experience. On the other hand, it may be that the girl had a father, but the relationship with him did not work out. This further influences the choice of a partner older than oneself.
It happens that a person is initially inclined to suffer and arouse pity for himself. He chooses a despotic partner who will constantly humiliate and suppress him. This is why certain types of women can steadfastly endure beatings and betrayals by their husbands, or a man can choose powerful and selfish women, subsequently being “under their thumb.” At the same time, they all sincerely love each other.
Love and "self-hypnosis"
As children, we all somehow figuratively imagined our other half. Moreover, sometimes, when we close our eyes, we can clearly see how they love us, how they care for us, we see in detail our ideal wedding, we dream of having children. It is believed that it is precisely those women who were able to create a clear model (necessarily positive) of their adult life from childhood who will receive exactly such a life in the future. It has been proven that love can be instilled in oneself. We instill in ourselves so much of our future ideal feeling that it is literally drawn to us over the years. True, sometimes the details do not match, but the essence remains the same. Such women are always happy in marriage; in such families, partners love each other selflessly.
It also happens, for example, when a girl has dreamed all her life of meeting a rich man who, in a fit of love, will shower her with precious gifts, fashionable clothes, and go with her on a trip around the world. Having matured, she meets such a person on the way. He is decent, a businessman and not greedy at all. This means she will definitely love you. It is already clear what will be the main advantage of a man for such a girl. However, there is no need to immediately condemn her for selfishness. As a man, she will love him madly, truly. Because such is the power of her self-hypnosis. True, if not for his financial situation, he simply would not have fit her “children’s standard.” Such a man would not become wise, gallant and attentive for her, because he would not have the original basic quality.
We often say: “Love is evil...”. However, love is not as irrational as it seems - people love each other for a reason. You can, if you wish, find your own explanation for everything. Really, why? It is better to love without looking back and with an open heart.
They love a person not at all because he is handsome, smart, talented, earns good money and has no bad habits. They love him simply because he exists in the world. Anyone who falls in love with someone's virtues risks becoming a victim of disappointment. After all, at the early stage of falling in love, people tend to idealize their chosen one. It’s completely different if a person sees all his shortcomings, but continues to love even for them.Mutual love is wonderful when people live for each other, and everyone tries to make their loved one happy. However, it often happens that one of the partners loves, and the other only allows himself to be loved. Of course, one of them is selfish, but the one who truly loves is able to forgive everything and be happy only with his own, even unrequited, feeling.
Mutual sympathy is often born when people become interested in communicating with each other. But when they truly fall in love, it’s good for them to just be silent together. Love is born not during nights full of frantic passion, but during calm, leisurely walks, when people simply hold each other's hands.
Sometimes very young girls cynically argue that you can’t live on love alone, that you need to find a wealthy person who stands firmly on his own two feet. However, when real feeling comes, it doesn’t matter at all how much money a person has, whether he has the opportunity to bring armfuls of flowers and take his chosen one to expensive restaurants.
How is love different from passion?
People sometimes confuse true love and sudden passion, although it is quite easy to distinguish between them. When they truly love a person, first of all, they want him to be happy, even with someone else. And the indispensable desire to possess it is a strong, but fleeting passion.
Passion is most often caused by external attractiveness, but a person can become seriously ill, have an accident, and even simply begin to grow old. Then the flash of passion will quickly fade away, and the one who is still healthy and good-looking will find a new object for himself.
There are many people with whom you can feel good when there are no problems in life. If trouble knocks on the door, you need a loving and reliable person nearby who will never betray you and will help you overcome any difficulties.
Every person should have someone who loves and accepts him as he is. Then he will feel protected from any life's adversities and shocks.
It often happens that friendships with a young man develop into something more on your part. At the same time, this often happens mutually, but both partners, not daring to open their feelings, continue to communicate according to the established model. This can go on for quite a long time. In this case, you should try to hint to your partner that you are not averse to changing everything.
Instructions
Don't tell him about others you communicate with or have communicated with. You don't need him to think that you have someone else to whom you are not indifferent, and he is just a friend. In general, stop thinking of yourself as . Perhaps your young man, because of your friendliness, does not dare to take the first step.
Let him understand that you are the most important to you. If he invites you to the cinema, tell him that you were going to watch this movie with your best friend. But immediately note that you will certainly go better with him.
Try using the classic way to a man's heart - treat him with homemade goodies. At the same time, this may be another reason to meet alone.
Always be sincerely happy when you see him. Do not make a sad expression on your face that reflects your mental anguish, because it can be misinterpreted.
Video on the topic
Sources:
- The art of hints, or how to let a guy know that he is for you
When people love each other, sometimes they are not only overwhelmed with happiness, but also gnawed by doubt: do they really evoke such strong feelings in the other party? Maybe it's just a pretense? Particularly emotional individuals truly suffer and literally bombard their partner with questions: “Do you really love me? How much?” So what should girls do? What are some ways to show your boyfriends that their feelings are sincere? And how far can you go here?
Instructions
First of all, remember well: a self-respecting person will forgive his beloved a lot, but this does not mean at all that his patience is limitless! 99% hate it when people raise their voices at them. For them this is an unforgivable insult. Therefore, if you really are, try to control yourself. Always, especially in those “days”.
God forbid to compare him with your former gentlemen! For any normal person, the very thought that someone was dear to you before him is simply unbearable. Even if you didn’t have a hint of intimacy then.
Don’t think that only women “love with their ears.” Guys also like to hear compliments addressed to them. As you know, “a kind word pleases a cat,” let alone your boyfriend!
Remember the wise, time-tested truth: “the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach!” If you not only know how to cook well, but also master some especially tasty dish especially for him, he will be simply happy.
Of course, demanding that you not be jealous at all is naive. But, again, everything is good in moderation. If a person is truly loved, then, firstly, they trust him, and secondly, they do not do what is unpleasant for him. Believe me, scenes of a man’s jealousy, to put it mildly, are not ecstatic!
The question of “proving” love for a guy through sex is closely related to the previous point. If you haven’t gotten intimate yet, it’s up to both of you to decide. But if you were brought up with strict rules like: “not before the wedding,” or you simply don’t want to resort to such “evidence,” remember that no one has the right to force you. If the guy categorically insists on his own, regardless of your desires and feelings. Now it’s time to ask the question: “Does he really love you?”
Video on the topic
Love is an inexplicable feeling, the solution to which scientists have been struggling for many years. Those who have experienced these emotions differ in their definitions. However, if your child has reached the “why” age, you will have to explain to him what love is.
Instructions
From infancy, tell your child that you love him. The baby needs the love and affection of his parents like air. They help him develop, feel welcome and protected in this world. The child will hear the word “love”, and he will already have certain ideas about this feeling.
The child himself experiences a feeling of love, he just doesn’t realize it yet. Tell your child that this is similar to the joy he feels when dad returns from work in the evening, the happiness from going to the park with his parents, the fun while playing together. Such examples will be accessible and understandable to the child.
At three or four years old, the first kindergarten loves. Take your baby's feelings seriously, and don't get confused if his choice surprises you. After all, your child may declare that he is going to marry either a girl from his group or a teacher. Offer your son options for acceptable behavior: for example, he can pick the lady of his heart a bouquet of flowers on the way to kindergarten or protect her from the boys. In the case of a teacher, you can inform the unsuccessful groom that his beloved is already married, which hinders the development of their further relationship.
Good cartoons teach children what is reasonable, kind, and eternal. Watch "Carlson's Belly on the Roof" with your child. In one of the episodes, when the Kid stayed up late visiting his friend on the roof, and the parents began to worry, the Kid’s mother claims that she loves her son and will not sell him even for a hundred thousand million. This answer gives the child an idea of the strength of this feeling.
When a person realizes that he loves his partner more and more deeply than he is loved, it is his personal choice whether to continue such a relationship and how much love and warmth to give. However, if a person understands that he is loved more than he is, this is already a certain responsibility for the feelings of another.
Stronger or just different?
Each person loves in his own way. Sometimes the concept of “loves more” is not entirely objective. A man, for example, can love a woman as much as he can express this feeling, but it will still not be the same as the woman’s mutual feeling. And most often the power of love is manifested only in what one person does for another.
Therefore, if a person realizes that he is loved more than he is, he should reconsider the ways of expressing his love. Perhaps he can do something for the other person that he has not done before, or talk about his feelings. Many people do not know how to express their love in words, then in order to show the depth of their feelings, you can do it with some actions.
You can review romantic films that girls like. The principle of all such films is almost the same. A man wins a woman with the help of feelings and a special approach to current situations. It is precisely for the non-standard male behavior that women love to watch such films and secretly “try on” the role of the main character.
How to show your love
There are many ways to convey your feelings and love to another person. You can, for example, do something that has never been done before: invite you to dinner, go to a movie together, make a handmade card, or cook breakfast together. You can also learn to express love with words, you can read how great poets and philosophers spoke about love. First of all, you need to take a closer look and find out how the other person understands the expression of love. The way he demonstrates his love is a real manifestation of tender and warm feelings for him.
When a person realizes that he is loved more, a feeling of gratitude appears. It can be expressed in helping around the house or participating in a common hobby. After all, if another person loves more, he should not think that he is not loved at all. He should feel warmth, tenderness and care for himself, then his feelings will not fade away, but will give him strength.
Advice on how to love more often doesn't work because everyone loves differently. There is no universal meter of love, just someone knows how to show their feelings more openly, and someone would like to, but does not know how to do it. It's better to stop comparing and weighing love, and just love each other as much as possible.
Love is gone. It would seem why this could be such a mystery, people who were madly in love with each other suddenly stopped feeling this feeling. What are the reasons?
Veronica's story: Veronica and her boyfriend were an ideal couple. When they met, they realized that they had been waiting for each other all their lives. They had the same hobbies, they liked the same things, they considered each other kindred spirits. This happiness lasted for two years, until her boyfriend suddenly began to move away. He eventually broke up with her, and when she asked for what reason, he simply replied that he just didn't love her anymore.
Has this happened to you or someone you know? Disappointment... Does true love come to last forever?
It is difficult to give a definite answer to this question, but one piece of advice that can be given is that you need to consider your perception of “true love” and know one thing that all that glitters is not gold.
High expectations of true love are exaggerated by the ideal concept of love, which can thereby disrupt fulfilling and healthy relationships. A realistic view is vital.
What is the main reason why people stop loving each other?
Of course, there are many reasons why people fall out of love, but love cannot be equated with falling in love, these are two completely different feelings.Falling in love is a deception, an illusion. A person cannot stop loving, because no one loses their love overnight.
There are 3 main reasons why people don't love anymore and therefore break up with their partners.
1. Their expectations were not met
If you meet someone you are truly attracted to, you tend to idealize things. You will fall in love with this person because at the moment everything will be so new, so fresh for you. Over and over again, you will discover with great pleasure all the positive qualities of your partner. But, unfortunately, soon all your needs and expectations will not be met and you will finally take off your rose-colored glasses.The problem here is that your opinion of your partner is not always realistic. After all, he and you are doing everything possible, trying to show your best side and hide your shortcomings in every possible way. Through your efforts to show yourself in the best light, your partner and you yourself meet each other’s expectations at the beginning, but later in the relationship, when the fire of passion cools down a little, you tend to take off your masks and show the real you. Now you and your partner act differently, not so reverently, not so carefully, nor so diligently towards the other half.
And after you have opened up, your relationship comes to conflicts, because those expectations and promises are not fulfilled by your partner and you will begin to feel deceived.
2. Have you really experienced love?
Another problem is that people very often cannot tell whether they are in love or not. Sometimes they confuse passion and sexual satisfaction with love.This happens very often when people are young, or when people have been in long-term relationships for a long time. They confuse long-term satisfaction with love.
But after their sexual desire fades, they suddenly lose interest and stop loving. Of course, this is not love in the first place, which is why feelings are fleeting.
3. Abuse
Unfortunately, this happens often, especially with men, at first he is soft and kind, and later they become rude and hard.Violence, of course, is the most extreme case. Very often, partners suddenly change their behavior in such a way that it becomes unbearable. Drug and alcohol abuse are common examples of this change.
Conclusion
Knowing these 3 reasons why people might fall out of love can be helpful to us. They can teach you how to behave at the beginning of a relationship.We must have realistic expectations in a partner and relationship, and above all, we must be who we truly are from the very beginning.
By pretending to be happy with everything and by reducing your basic needs, you will show your partner a false image of you, a picture that will fade over time and perhaps your partner or you will end up falling out of love.
During communication between two people, channels are formed between their auras through which energy flows flow in both directions. If people like each other, then an intense energy exchange occurs between them. And spiritual connections arise. They can affect a person both positively and negatively.
Bound souls
The more passionate the partners are about each other, the stronger and more active the channels (mental connections) are formed. It is in this way that strong relationships arise that are not subject to distance or time. For example, a mother always feels her child, no matter where he is, and no matter how many years have passed since their last meeting.
It also happens that, meeting an old acquaintance after many years, a person feels as if they parted just yesterday. Channels can persist for a very long time - years and even decades. That is, channels connect not only bodies, but also souls.
Healthy relationships form bright, clear, pulsating channels. In such relationships there is trust, intimacy, sincerity and there is enough room for personal freedom. Here there is an equivalent exchange of energy, without distortions.
Broken Hearts
If the relationship is unhealthy, that is, one partner depends on the other, then the channels are heavy, stagnant, and dim. Such relationships deprive people of freedom and often boil down to mutual irritation and bitterness. If one of the partners wants to completely control the other, connections, like ropes, can wrap around the aura from all sides.
When relationships gradually die, the channels become thinner and weaker. Over time, energy stops flowing through these channels, communication stops, people become strangers. If people separate, but the channels are still preserved, then they continue to reach out to each other. It also happens when one partner breaks off spiritual ties and closes off from further interaction, while the other partner is still attached to him and tries in every possible way to break through the energy defense in order to restore the relationship.
In the process of forcibly breaking the channels, the separation is very painful. It takes many months or years to recover from this. Here, much depends on how ready a person is to accept the free will of another and free himself from dependence developed over a long time. It's difficult, but possible.
The soul remembers the partner
Most channels built in everyday communication disappear without a trace over time. In the case of close relationships, the channels remain for a very long time, even after separation. Particularly strong channels arise during sexual and family relationships.
Every time you have sexual contact with a new partner, new spiritual connections are formed that bind people together for many years, or even throughout their entire lives. In this case, it does not matter at all whether the sexual partners managed to learn each other’s names - a connection in the case of sexual contact is formed and lasts for a very long time. And if there is a channel, then there is a circulation of energy along it. And what quality of energy comes is difficult to say, it depends on the characteristics of the other person. If he is completely negative, then the “bonded” partner will feel oppressed and not understand what’s going on.
In people who live nearby for a long time, the energy fields adapt to each other and work in unison. Intimate relationships require field synchronization. We often notice that people who live together for a long time become similar to each other even in appearance.
Repulsive emotions
If the characteristics of the auras of two individuals are very different, then it will be difficult for them to communicate. When energy flows that are alien to it invade the field, a reaction of repulsion, fear, disgust appears - “It makes me sick.”
When a person does not want to communicate with someone, he closes his energy field, and all energy flows emanating from the other person are reflected. In this case, the other person gets the impression that he is not being heard, as if he is talking to a wall.
Every person has the right to enter or not to enter into energetic interaction with the world around him, but it is impossible to completely abandon these contacts. People are accustomed to dividing the world into “bad” and “good”, attracting the good and repelling the bad. What can you do - these are the properties of our spiritual world. But times are changing, and now the world strives for unity, the merging of all sides, facets of the world into one whole.
We must respect the individuality and different experiences that each person has. But remember that any connection has consequences. And what they will be - everyone is free to choose for themselves.
