Think about those who will carry you in their arms. DO NOT EAT AT NIGHT.
I’m losing weight on three diets at once! I can’t get enough of one...
Diet is like a rodeo, if you can’t resist, it will blow you to hell!!!
New diet: 3 days - only juices; 5 days - only porridge; 7 days - only apples. Then 9 days... Then 40 days.
A diet is when you don’t eat sausage, but secretly eat it!
I watched the program “Eat and Lose Weight” and realized that the “D” is superfluous here...
I heard that charcoal is good for weight loss... So I’m thinking - drink or unload?!
Well, of course, I've gained weight! After birth I weighed only 3 kg!
There is nothing harder than becoming lighter...
Love raw carrots, low-fat cottage cheese, salad as yourself and you will comprehend the truth of existence.
It’s spring, the first scales appear from under the beds…. Starvation diets are coming...
Excellent diet: a glass of water 3 days before meals.
Starting tomorrow I’m losing weight: goodbye, extra pounds!!! And you, tits, I’ll ask you to stay!
Don’t be upset if you have a terrible urge to eat in the dark, maybe you’re just a priestess of the night!
A diet that instantly lifts your mood is to get a packet of kefir, dilute it with a loaf of bread and a piece of boiled milk.
I’m losing weight... don’t offer sweets... don’t invite people to visit, don’t give me tea, don’t feed me through the cage...
I'm on a special whiskey diet. I've already lost three days...
There is no sadder story in the world. Than a story about a dieter.
I went on a diet, didn’t eat after six, didn’t eat after seven, didn’t eat after eight... But when midnight came, I couldn’t stand it...
And why are sweets wrapped in such a rustling wrapper? The whole apartment can hear me losing weight...
Do you want to lose weight? Drink kefir! ..and eat kefir.
I went on a diet... In the evening I couldn’t stand it and I started craving something sweet... Well, to hell with this diet! I will be soft and sweet.
To lose weight in some places, you need to not eat in some places!
My diet comes to an end when the computer suddenly freezes or the Internet goes out.
Scientists have figured out the thing that makes people fat the most. If you refuse it, then the person will lose weight 100%. This thing is a refrigerator.
I don't eat bread, it makes me fat.
My wife went on a diet and lost one and a half kilograms...
I have an excellent diet in mind: “STOP EATING!
My stomach asks for food, my appetite dances in it, the cold wind whistles in it and rustles my intestines...
I'm losing weight, but it keeps finding me!
“Dietary” puree – without oil, salt and potatoes.
I'm tired of this diet. Rather, everyone remember me as I am now, I went to eat a lot and get fat...
If you have gained 5 kg again in a week, it means that your best friend recommended this diet to you.
Men! Beware! I'm going on a strict diet!
We all have her... a friend who eats for days like a hippopotamus and never gets fat.
I went on a new diet... bread and vodka...
To eat this to lose weight...
Calories are the germs that make your belly and butt grow!
The cakes were so light and airy that a couple of extra pounds flew in quickly and unnoticed.
It was the third hour of my diet... but the butt sticking out of the refrigerator knew that this was the end...
A very effective Chinese diet: you can eat EVERYTHING! Just one stick!
The most evil animal is a girl on a period diet and trying to quit smoking.
Scientists say that the human body grows only until the age of 25, but neither the stomach nor the ass probably knows about this...
Spring has been delayed so that we have time to lose weight.
Got an appetite??? Look at the cellulite.
A diet is when you went to the kitchen for an apple and suddenly ate a cutlet.
Girls, remember, during a diet you need to eat lard without bread!!!
The best diet is when you go to the pharmacy for weight loss medicine, and before reaching the pharmacy you accidentally enter the store.
Any, even the most effective diet, certainly starts only tomorrow.
I'll exchange 10 kilograms of weight for 10 centimeters of height!!!
If you are afraid of gaining weight, be sure to drink a glass of wine before eating. Alcohol kills the feeling of fear.
In order to quickly lose weight you need to sit on buckwheat... Tell me, how many more days should I sit on this bag?
When mom goes on a diet, the whole family automatically switches to 3 meals a day... Monday, Wednesday, Friday.
The best diet is shopping without money: the extra pounds come drooling...
What powder should you wash in to lose 3 sizes!?
Diet is another way to improve appetite, tested on yourself.
As soon as you go on a diet, someone immediately sits down to eat next to you.
A woman goes on a diet in three cases: when a man leaves her, when she gets a man, and if today is Monday.
In the morning my stomach is so flat that it’s a pity to even have breakfast.
To lose weight, you need to either sleep while eating or eat only while you sleep.
I have no conscience. I weigh less without it.
I went on a diet. I walk into the kitchen, see a bun... I walk past it and say, “Live mortal!” I really feel like superman.
How much do we Russians need?.. A pack of dumplings, a pot of borscht, a kilogram of sausage. Well, eat something.
I was on an apple diet. Two days have passed. There are no apples left. The end of the diet!
When I eat, I am deaf and dumb! You have to eat so much that your ears are blocked!
If only there was a device that would work after six in the evening - I opened the refrigerator and instead of bread I got a bag of bread!
The best diet is SESSION!
Hunger pills have been invented a long time ago. They are called cutlets.
The best and most effective diet is the Internet! There’s no time to eat at all!
Diet. On the first day of the week you need to take an egg, on the second you need to boil it, on the third you need to peel it, on the fourth day you eat the white, on the fifth you eat the yolk, but on the weekend you need to unload yourself.
Know that the diet gave results only if the dirt found on the road looks like chocolate, and not like shit.
The fruit salad according to my grandmother’s recipe turns out to be so high in calories that probably only fried elephant can be fattier.
Do you want to bring your weight back to normal? In this case, all drinks and food should be replaced by kefir.
Best status:
A very effective diet invented by the Chinese: there are no restrictions on foods, you just need to manage food with one chopstick.
I went on a strict diet, now I only allow myself to look at pictures.
Today my friends and I finally decided to start a diet. This event had to be celebrated at McDonald's.
The most effective diet is a depressive diet for losing extra pounds. Do you want to lose weight? File for divorce, fall unrequitedly in love with someone, and spend your days sad and completely alone. The hated kilograms will disappear like ice cream in the open sun. And if you don’t bend over backwards, your figure will become slim again.
Personally, as soon as problems with the Internet begin, thoughts about diet disappear on their own.
Meat for me! Blood for me! – Look in the refrigerator: sausage with ketchup on the top shelf.
I wish I could find a diet that would help me lose extra pounds, but at the same time keep my breasts from getting smaller.
Thin girls want to gain a little weight, plump ones dream of losing weight, and girls who are okay with their weight strive to do both, just in different parts of the body))
Do you want to lose weight? - Shut up!
To lose weight in some places, you need to not eat in some places.
There are no fat women, there are frail men!
There must be many good people. A good girl is a maximum of 300 grams more than Kate Moss.
I'm a doe. A fat, overfed doe.
My desire to lose weight is stronger than to eat!!!)
French diet: sex and muffin for breakfast, muffin and sex for lunch, sex and muffin for dinner... and if the diet doesn’t help, eliminate the muffin!
The best diet is sadness! Nobody talks about it, but everyone knows it very well. So, because of my sadness, I will become anorexic(.
New super diet, click on the red cross, lift your ass off the chair and finally go out for a walk and cellulite will be gone))
Diet is like a rodeo, if you can’t resist, it will blow you to hell!!!
A diet is when you don’t eat sausage, but secretly eat it!
Libra – mood indicator
– Doctor, your apple diet for weight loss does not help me! - Do you wash apples? - Yes. – Try not to wash.
Diet doesn't do any good. Yesterday in the store I looked for the calorie content on a package of pads. The husband looked with pity (((
The best diet is Love)))
I went on a diet. I walk into the kitchen, see a bun... I walk past it and say, “Live mortal!” I really feel like superman!..
Girl: I’m on three diets, but I can’t get enough of two!
the best diet is to tape your mouth shut?? DON'T EAT THE SCOTCHETCH)))
I have no conscience. I weigh less without it
I'll exchange 10 kilograms of weight for 10 centimeters of height!!!
The best and most effective diet is the Internet! There’s no time to eat at all!
Calories... These are little dirty tricks... Who come at night and sew up your clothes.
All! I'm going on a chocolate diet!
Our women are so harsh that they drink tea to lose weight along with cake...
Activia is the answer to the great question: “How to sell a liter of kefir at a price of 10”
At first, don’t eat after 6, and by 11 o’clock you’re so full that no diet will help!
Diet is simple: eat something that makes you sick to look at!
A diet is when you hold back all day and don’t eat, and at night you open the refrigerator and eat!
Yes, I don’t have 90-60-90.. But my first number is 100, so I don’t care about the last 2.
I have a great diet, three meals a day Monday, Wednesday, Friday!
It's better to be a fool, but with a good figure!!!
Summer is coming - hello, diet!
What else could I eat? To lose weight)))
For breakfast - more thoughts. For lunch - more cigarettes. For dinner - all together and tears... This is a Special Diet.
I'm not skinny, I just didn't eat breakfast!
The best diet is when you go to the pharmacy for weight loss medicine, and before reaching the pharmacy you accidentally enter the store.
I love when he is nearby, I crave to eat him, my treasure...I LOVE YOU, MY DEAR! my favorite chocolate...
The best diet is shopping without money: the extra pounds come drooling...
To eat this to lose weight...
Thoughts over a late dinner. Lord, if only all the calories would go to my boobs!
A diet is when you don’t eat sausage, but secretly eat it!
Starting tomorrow I’m losing weight: goodbye, extra pounds!!! And I’ll ask you, tits, to stay!... =)
The Internet is the best diet! 😀
I went on a diet. I walk into the kitchen, see a bun... I walk past it and say, “Live mortal!” I really feel like superman)))
I don't eat bread, it makes me fat
Get divorced, fall in love with someone who doesn't love you, live alone and be sad from morning to evening. The extra pounds will melt away like snow in the sun. Your body will become slender again and will be able to serve you well - of course, if you survive.
I’m sitting with a friend, drinking tea with jam, (and we’re on a diet) I: “it’s not all natural in the jam... well, except for sugar =) *laughs wildly*
There is no sadder story in the world. than a story about a dieter
We haven't eaten for two weeks because we're models.
A diet is when you give your cat something to eat and nervously lick your lips)
Super diet! Efficiency 100%! Just one rule: if it tastes good, spit it out immediately!
A diet is when you go to the kitchen for an apple and suddenly devour a cutlet.
Today's women hide their weight, not their age.
Love salad and low-fat cottage cheese as you love yourself. Rejoice in raw carrots, for they contain true Diet!
Eat. Gourmet and beautiful. The word "diet" is annoying.
My stomach asks for food, my appetite dances in it, the cold wind whistles in it and rustles my intestines...
If you have gained 5 kg again in a week, it means that your best friend recommended this diet to you.
The best diet is a session!!!
All your statuses about diet didn’t lead me to think... if I don’t go on a diet... then I’ll be the fattest... that’s it... starting on Monday I’ll start fasting with you...)
The French diet – coffee, sex and cigarettes.
The saddest dish in the world is mashed potatoes. It seems like an ordinary potato, but so depressed...
A very plump woman, wanting to lose weight, hung a note in her kitchen: “I don’t eat after six.” My husband added: “MORNING!!!”
I dieted for 14 days and only lost two weeks.
There is no sadder story in the world... than the story of a dieter!
Either I diet, or she diets me!
Got an appetite? Don't slow down, eat everything.
White doesn't make you look fat... cookies do!
Stopping the microwave 1 second before turning off makes you feel like the savior of the world.
Everything I like is either illegal, immoral, or fattening.
with the appearance of cookies in the house, my diet automatically ended)
Wow, you've lost weight. What kind of diet? -The hospital is called
A healthy appetite should first of all be for life, not for food...
remember friends, the diet always starts tomorrow =))
The only good news: grief makes you lose weight. Nobody advertises this diet, but it is the most effective of all. Depression For Weight Loss. Want to lose weight?
Diet is like a rodeo, if you can’t resist, you’ll blow it to hell!
New super diet! After three days, it will be difficult for even a keen eye to notice you; exclude only 2 products from your diet - food and water..
I have an excellent diet in mind: “STOP EATING!”
To hell with the diet - bring the cutlet!!))
Loneliness is the diet of the soul, lethal if prolonged...
The kefir diet lifts my spirits if I find kefir diluted with a loaf of bread and a loaf of boiled sausage. 🙂
Funny and funny quotes, jokes, jokes, humor about diet
The look of one woman at another is reminiscent of baggage control at customs. (
Everything I like is either illegal, immoral, or fattening. (author of the aphorism: Alexander Woolcott)
Everything in life has weight, but not everything is weighted. (quote author: Leonid S. Sukhorukov)
Within every fat person there is a thin one that cries out to be released. (quote author: Cyril Connolly)
The main difficulty of the 90-day diet is that after its completion, not everyone manages to adapt to the new prices. (quote author: Zhanna Golonogova)
Hunger is not only the best cook, but also the best doctor.
Diet is another way to improve appetite. (author of the phrase: Evan Ezar)
Diet is a period of fasting preceding weight gain. (
Diet - nurturing a strong will with a weak stomach. (author of the aphorism: Bankovskie)
Food is an important part of a balanced diet. (author of the aphorism: Fran Lebowitz)
The only way to lose weight is to reconsider your goals in life. (author of the statement: Cyril Connolly)
If what some call health is acquired at the cost of endless worry about diet, it is no better than a long illness. (quote by George Dennison Prentice)
If you want to lose weight, eat everything, but don't swallow anything. (author of the aphorism: Harry Seacombe)
If you want to look young and slim, stay close to the old and fat ones. (humor author: Jim Eason)
Women go on a diet only in three cases:
1. if their husband left them;
2. if they like the man;
3. if today is Monday.
(
Women never have dinner alone. If they eat dinner alone, it's not dinner. (author of the statement: Henry James)
Forget about calories: any food makes thin people even leaner, and fat people even fatter. (quote author: Mignon McLaughlin)
A fat man’s cherished dream: to lose weight by overeating... (author of humor: Ilya Gerchikov)
True weight is an exceptional force of attraction... (
Everyone needs their own weight, but not everyone risks weighing themselves in front of everyone...
When you finally weigh exactly what you would like to weigh, you want to place this weight differently. (author of humor: Yanina Ipokhorskaya)
When you tighten your belt, your stomach gets closer to your heart (
It is better to undereat occasionally than to overeat all the time. (
The best sellers are cookbooks. In second place are books about diets - how not to eat what you just learned to cook. (quote author: Andy Rooney)
The best way to lose weight is to eat as much as you want of what you can't stand. (author of aphorism: unknown)
The best way to lose weight is to shut your mouth - a very difficult task for a politician. Or watch your food - just watch it, but don’t eat it. (quote author: Edward I. Koch)
Excess weight of a person, and especially a woman, is the cause of many everyday problems. (author of the statement: Przekruj)
Love feeds not only on feelings, but also on steaks. (
A Russian person doesn’t want to do or think anything on an empty stomach, but on a full stomach he can’t. (author of the aphorism: F. Ranevskaya).
First they go on a diet, then they lie down. (author of humor: Tamara Kleiman)
Don't put off until dinner what you can eat at lunch. (quote author: A.S. Pushkin)
Today's women hide their weight, not their age. (author of humor: Ratmir Tumanovsky)
Never eat more than you can handle. (author of the statement: Henry Beard)
Loneliness is for the mind what a starvation diet is for the body: sometimes it is necessary, but it should not be too long. (quote author: Luc de Clapier Vauvenargues)
She went on a diet and soon noticed that she began to live longer. (author of the aphorism: Vladimir Terentyev)
She adhered to the most severe diets, went to the gym, and ran in the mornings and evenings. Friends thought he was mad about fat. (author of quote: V. Semenov)
I can say the same thing about airplanes that I can say about dieting: it’s the best thing you can advise another person. (quote author: Gene Kerr)
Poetry as spiritual food is the best diet. (author of the phrase: Konstantin Kushner) Pluralism: some people stick to diets, others prefer to stick to it. (author of the statement: Leonid S. Sukhorukov) Too many people break without even realizing how close to success they were at the moment they lost heart. (author of the statement: unknown) According to the classical Russian diet, you need to eat once a day. But from morning until evening! (author of humor: Mikhail Zadornov) The body is baggage that you carry throughout your life. The heavier it is, the shorter the journey. (author of the aphorism: Arnold Glasgow) The body must be kept in such a way that the soul does not want to leave it. (author of humor: unknown) Fat people live shorter lives. But they eat longer. (author of black humor: Stanislav Jerzy Lec) Don't eat too much in one sitting, too much food will eat you up. ( There can never be too many good people. (author of humor: unknown) They lose weight when food becomes not the most important joy in life. ( More often they lose their measure in drinking than in eating. (author of the aphorism: Pythagoras) The more people diet, the more nutritionists eat. (author of humor: Valentin Domil) An honest woman is a woman who never lies, unless, of course, we are talking about her age, her weight and her husband's earnings. (quote author: unknown) What, don't you like rice porridge? And your body loves it. ( To lose 100 g of weight, you need 1 kg of will. (funny humor from an unknown person) To lose weight, don't eat just three foods - proteins, fats and carbohydrates. (author of humor: E. Malysheva) To truly lose weight, you just need to give up three things - breakfast, lunch and dinner. (author of humor: Frank Lloyd Wright) To extend your life, reduce your portions. (author of the aphorism: Benjamin Franklin) To lose weight, you need to be passionate about work, love passionately and moderately extinguish the feeling of hunger. ( To lose weight well, you need to gain weight poorly. (quote author: Valery Afonchenko) I eat just to not think about food. (author of humor: N.F. Simpson) I'm not going to starve myself just to live a little longer. (quote author: Irene Peter) I went on a strict diet and lost seven kg and eight girlfriends in three weeks. ( I dieted for 14 days and only lost two weeks. ( I'm fat but thin inside. Has it ever occurred to you that inside every fat person there is a thin person, just as, as the popular expression goes, there is a statue inside every stone. (quote author: George Orwell)
