The age from 11-12 to 14-16 years is called transitional.
Some of us have already gone through this period: our children have become adults, but our grandchildren are growing up imperceptibly. Others' children are currently in this period. For others it will come soon.
How to behave with a child so as not to lose contact with him?
Psychologists believe that puberty is divided into two stages: negative-critical (11-13 years) and positive (13-16 years). A teenager's priorities gradually change, and by the age of 15-16 he becomes more mature and responsible.
This age is difficult not only because the child begins to undergo hormonal changes. His status is also changing: he has left the age when he had favorite toys and was in a position of being dependent on his parents.
The teenager is lost: he feels that something has changed, but does not understand what exactly. At this moment he wants to find new interests, new acquaintances. He reveals his originality and uniqueness.
A teenager grows rapidly, his skeleton and muscles change. All this leads to some disproportion and angularity. Children feel clumsy and awkward at this time.
Many of them experience difficulties in studying; it fades into the background or third place. A teenager wants everyone - both adults and peers - to treat him not as a child, but as an adult. He claims equal rights in relations with elders and enters into conflicts, defending his position.
The child develops a new perception of the world around him. He begins to critically perceive the system of rules and traditions of society and family. He has a need for independence, the need to make independent decisions, and the time comes to acquire his own life experience.
If a teenager has a need to work and take care of others, then the process of growing up is significantly accelerated. When he has the opportunity to earn money, a certain financial independence appears. If at the same time he remembers his responsibilities to his family, then he quickly develops as a person and becomes independent. For example, in the United States there is a long tradition: children begin to earn extra money on their own from adolescence.
One of the characteristics of adolescence is the need for risk. This is dictated by the desire to assert oneself. This is difficult for parents to accept. The only way to do this is to take risks with your child, on your own territory. This is how parents will be able to speak with a teenager in his language and establish mutual understanding.
If you want to maintain contact with your child, recognize him as an adult who has his own views and rights. Take his hobbies (risky sports, playing the guitar, writing poetry, extravagant outfits, etc.) seriously, without irony, because he can perceive any joke as an insult to his feelings. This can provoke isolation and mistrust.
You will have to forget that a parent is a person whose opinion is not discussed. You once enjoyed this status, but everything has changed: your child is becoming independent. Now the best path for both parties is friendly relations.
Your experience gives you an advantage. But don't use it as a weapon. Instead, help your child solve problems and suggest ways out of difficult situations.
In adolescents, the nervous system has not yet formed. Emotions prevail over consciousness. But the teenager does not yet have enough experience to cope with them and control them. Therefore, he can break down over the most insignificant reasons.
Often, not being able to assess the situation objectively, a teenager becomes delighted with the person who committed a bad act. Conversely, he may begin to treat a person poorly just because of one single mistake that he made.
Teenagers often confuse stubbornness with will, rudeness with courage, mischief with determination. They do not yet distinguish between socially positive and negative behavior. Asserting their right to adulthood, they show stubbornness, isolation, and insolence. Any guardianship and control causes sharp discontent and resistance.
Teenagers' assessment of their actions is uncritical. Hence their desire to justify themselves, to blame it on chance or other people.
A teenager's emotional excitability is increased, and all this is combined with a lack of life experience. A teenager wants to be considered. He is very vulnerable. If before he easily forgot grievances, now they sink deep into his soul.
During this period, he develops a keen interest in the opposite sex, sex, and erotica. Inexperience, naivety, and a high degree of suggestibility encourage adolescents to imitate adults and use an “independent” style of behavior. This is expressed in smoking, drinking alcohol, early initiation into sexual activity...
During this period, it becomes difficult to communicate with the child. The problem is that we express our requests and wishes to an adult in the correct form. But in relation to a teenager, we consider this optional. But even when we present our demands to him in a polite manner, then, not seeing a corresponding reaction on his part, we rush to immediately achieve an immediate result. There is no need to put pressure: the teenager has an internal struggle of motives. His negative reaction to your request is self-defense from someone else’s intrusion into the process of internal struggle of motives. Do not speed up this process, show restraint and patience!
Help your child overcome this difficult period. Warm him with your love, tell him about his virtues, let him feel the joy of life. Be persistent and patient, remember how difficult it is for your son or daughter now - they are forming an adult in themselves.
Based on the articles.
The desire for independence, isolation, reluctance to spend all free time together, growing authority among peers, rebellion against everything... Is this familiar to you? Does the child who used to hang on your every word now not appreciate your advice? And what’s more, he closes his ears and doesn’t want to talk? What happened and how to return that sweet baby who obeyed unquestioningly? A fundamentally wrong approach. You will have to change and, first of all, change your behavior style. Unless of course you want to be heard.
1. Don't lecture
If you spent the first 60 seconds of the conversation reading the notation “But I’m your age,” then you don’t have to continue further. The child's attention turns off after one minute.
2. Don't blame
Don't start a sentence with an accusation. Instead of: “You haven’t done your homework again!”, say “It upsets me that you are putting your studies to the last place.”
3. Talk casually
It's hard to expect a 15-year-old daughter to be honest when you're glaring at her. Better ask her to help prepare dinner, and talk while chopping vegetables. Speak as if from the outside while walking, or when driving a car. Nobody likes it when they try to extract something from him, and this is exactly how a teenager perceives questions “head-on”. The phrase “Sit down, I want to talk to you” evokes natural wariness.
4. Master new technologies
It's no secret that writing is often easier than saying. Try sending a couple of humorous messages in the chat, and then ask how things are at school. You will see that the story will be more detailed than with verbal communication.
5. Share interests
Their books, music, clothing style, sport. All this may seem unusual and strange to you. However, if you at least try to find out more about your child’s hobbies and show your awareness, you will earn respect: “Wow, mom knows that manga is not the same as mango.”
6. Don't be afraid to overpraise
Parents often believe that praise is needed only for excellent grades. However, teenagers need approval in everything they do. Does your son play computer games online or do historical reconstruction? Be interested in successes and praise. Of course, it is advisable to first master the terminology if the hobby is quite unusual.
7. Never say never
Avoid the categorical words “always” and “never.” With the accusation “You never tell me anything,” you reject the very attempt at conversation. And when you say, “I always know what’s best for you,” you’re simply disingenuous.
8. Shouting is not an argument
Don’t think that when spoken in a raised tone, your arguments will become more powerful. The teenager will perceive this as your breakdown and that you are right: “If mom screams, then there is nothing else left for her.” Believe me, what was said in a calm voice, “I was worried about you,” is much clearer than the cry, “Yes, I couldn’t get through to you for two hours!”
9. “How are you? - Fine."
A direct question is a short but not informative answer. Instead, talk about what interests you both, listen to the answers, actively participate in the conversation, clarify and ask again. Seeing your concern, the child himself will move on to topics that concern him.
10. Don't panic
Don't jump to conclusions. If your son says that he is dating someone, this does not mean that you will soon become a grandmother. If a daughter says that she wants to become like a popular singer, this does not mean that she dreams of plastic surgery. In the first case, permission may be implied to extend the walking time, in the second - a request to sign up for guitar lessons. Clarify what the teenager meant.
No matter how hard it is for you, do not leave your child during this difficult period for him. Help and support.
Good luck to you and your children who have not yet become adults, but have ceased to be children.
Many parents face problems raising a teenager. They ask themselves: “Where did the charming, sweet child go? How could he change so much?” And closer to graduation at school, the child becomes completely uncontrollable. Parents should remember that this is a common problem for many families. One way or another, this period must be overcome and try to improve relations with your son or daughter. Let's try to understand this issue and understand how to find a relationship with a teenager.
A difficult age
There are parents who are afraid of their children. What if they get out of control, start smoking and drinking alcohol, call themselves “hipsters,” or start running away from home?
It's actually not that scary. It’s not called “the spring of life” for nothing. And for most children, the sweet time begins. At this moment, you need to learn to control the situation, support the child and not spoil the happy moments of your youth. To cope with this, you need to plunge into another world - into the world of a child - and understand what changes occur at such a young age.
Another world
Surely many parents began to notice that the child began to speak a different language, dress strangely, be rude, provoke scandals, ruin his hair, listen to wild music and attract attention to himself. Communication between teenagers and parents is fading. They don’t understand each other, because fathers and sons are different generations who have their own values, worldview, vocabulary, aesthetics, and so on. Naturally, the unknown is scary, especially if it concerns your own child. And in order to understand the mysterious world of a teenager, first of all you need to listen to him, understand and accept him. Parents are ready for dialogue, but children are in no hurry to share their most intimate...
What to do in such a situation?
Studying sciences such as developmental psychology, most experts came to the conclusion that the path to a child lies through understanding. First, you need to accept the fact that he may have other interests, even if his parents do not approve of them. Remember yourself in your youth, what you wanted then, what you lacked... Having compared your desires and behavior in youth with the way your child behaves, you need to establish new rules in your home: let your son or daughter listen to the music they like, wear whatever they want, use slang without using profanity, and you All that remains is to understand and accept it.
The more kindly the parents treat the teenager, the faster he will open up and let him into his inner world. Let’s imagine this situation: a child has gone abroad. He fell out of our reality and began to speak a different language. After he arrives home, you will have to find a common language with him.
What not to do
At this age, modern teenagers begin to experiment with cigarettes and alcohol and fall into bad company. This behavior terrifies parents. In addition to alcohol, drugs and cigarettes, there are several other vices that can engulf a teenager - these are Internet addiction, extreme hobbies and unprotected sex. And here the worst thing begins: the more parents prohibit, swear and punish, the more actively the child is drawn into his own world - into the world of non-childish hobbies. And no matter how hard parents try, communication with teenagers leads nowhere.
Psychology as a science says that such experiments have one feature. Indeed, in this way, children learn about the world without understanding where the boundaries of what is permitted end. If the conversation is about bad company or games with death, then the bells should ring, the child is lost in the real world.
If a teenager has “gone” into computer games, this indicates that he is replacing his prosaic days with fantasies. Drugs are used by children who want to numb the pain. Teenagers who feel like strangers at home get involved with bad companies.
Of course, there is no such recipe that could insure a teenager from the dangers on his way to growing up. But sometimes parents themselves aggravate the situation: an unhealthy atmosphere in the family, scandals, shouting, swearing, a negative example from elders - all this pushes the child into the abyss.
Directions to move in
Today's teenagers need help. In order to protect your child from it, you need to act in three directions.
First of all, arm him with the necessary information. Some psychologists advise taking your child to an oncology center where there are patients who at one time became interested in cigarettes. Show him a drug treatment center and tell him about the consequences of drug abuse. Today, many modern teenage magazines publish information about how bad habits and dangerous experiments affect a child’s life and what this leads to.
If you don't know how to get along with your teenager, you should go in a different direction. Create the most trusting atmosphere in your home, treat your child with love and respect. Forget about aggression towards anyone. It is necessary to create such an atmosphere so that he does not want to run away from home. Advice to parents: do not smoke or drink alcohol in the presence of a child - he may take an example from you, and conversations that smoking is dangerous to health will be in vain. Children copy the behavior of their parents, so you need to become a shining example for your child. Control your emotions, know how to listen, and most importantly, understand. Live his life together, and then he will not want to run away from home.
The third direction is a firm ban on dangerous games. If a teenager violates it, then the violation must be punished. The peculiarity of communicating with teenagers lies in the sequence of actions; you cannot let go of the situation. For example, you caught a child with a cigarette, the punishment should not be aggressive or emotional, forbid him to go out for a week and do not break your word.
Sex. What is this?
According to statistics, most high school students lose their virginity at the age of 15. Sexual desire is dictated by nature, and this is normal. But for a fifteen-year-old child, especially girls, it is too early to have sex at this age. And one can understand parents who are afraid of child sexuality, unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases.
Fear pushes parents to make a series of mistakes. There is no need to tell a teenager that sex is a terrible sin. Sexual attraction will not go away, but the child will have a lot of complexes. The time will come when he will need to start a family, and with what attitude will he approach such an important decision?
Developmental psychology and age psychology regarding sex advise against moralizing. It is better to convey to the child as much information as possible, explain how dangerous unprotected sex is and what it can lead to. At the same time, there is no need to meddle in his personal life.
How to find a common language with a teenager
Adolescence is also called fateful, crisis, vulnerable, difficult. During this period, a new person is formed who strives to become an adult and tries to get rid of the child, who is looking for himself, and in his search he makes many mistakes. Many parents understand this, but do not know how to find a common language with a teenager in such a difficult time.
Of course, parents are upset when their son or daughter begins to be rude. Why is this happening?
Why are children rude?
The fact is that aggression lies dormant in every person. According to psychologists, such qualities as determination, the desire to assert oneself and the ability to defend one’s position contain aggressiveness. But it is worth noting that this quality sometimes helps a person survive. Therefore, aggressiveness carries both a positive and a negative charge. And the form of its manifestation depends on the situation, character and upbringing.
Often, parents themselves become the cause of their child’s rude behavior. If everyone in the family speaks in a raised voice and does not respect each other, then the child will grow up the same way. And how can parents demand a good, respectful attitude from a teenager if he doesn’t understand what it is, because he doesn’t know any other way?
Parents' mistakes
The main mistakes that parents make:
- lack of control;
- satisfaction of all needs;
- tough relationships;
- hypertrophied control;
- the desire to raise a child prodigy;
- emotional rejection.
In order for a child to grow up calm, obedient, that is, the way his parents want him to be, it is first necessary to give him freedom. “If you don’t touch the tree, it will grow even.” The child has grown up, and it’s time to get used to this idea.
- Parental moralizing irritates the child the most. Communication with a teenager should take place on a positive wave. The child has his own views and opinions, and this must be taken into account.
- Compromise. By arguing with each other, no one will prove anything to anyone. Negative emotions will not lead to understanding.
- There is no need to reproach, offend a teenager or be sarcastic towards him.
- Be firm in your decisions and consistent. You cannot demand from a child what you yourself do not do.
This period is very difficult, and communication with a teenager can lead parents into a dead end. We must remember that this is youth, and the child is full of strength, he wants to love and be loved, conquer heights, do crazy things, he is interested in everything. It is at this age that he needs good friends, and it’s good if they are parents.
It's not easy for parents with teenagers. Unpredictable actions, mood swings, emotional outbursts for no particular reason. But why do children of this age do this? What are the motives and reasons for the teenager’s actions? And most importantly, how to get rid of the problems of adolescence without harming yourself or your own children? How to understand what adolescent psychology is?
It all starts at about 12 years old. The young man is freed from childhood illusions. Critical thinking and hormones gradually destroy the naive perception of reality. The teenager loses the feeling of security, the belief that “behind your parents is like behind a stone wall.” The wall suddenly turns out to be made of sand and collapses.
And teenage psychology forces you to frantically search for your own identity. Here you need the help of your relatives. They must find the “good” self. And it’s easy for a teenager to “fall into a bad identity,” because a teenager’s attachments and dependencies form incredibly quickly.
Psychological characteristics of adolescents - fundamental changes in everything
At the age of 12–17, a person actively develops: the skeleton grows, the vocal cords change, and sex hormones begin to be released.
The main changes occur in the brain. This is the root of the problem, the reason why teenagers are so unstable. The evolutionarily “newer” part of the cerebral cortex, responsible for critical thinking, the ability to plan, and act thoughtfully, “matures” later than the limbic system, which regulates the emotional sphere. This ancient part of the human brain is formed earlier. That is why in the behavior of a teenager, impulses and emotions dominate over reason.
Sex hormones are the main “weapon” of the limbic system to fight the rational part of the brain. Testosterone, the estrogen of teenagers, can completely drown out the voice of reason. Alas, these hormones not only arouse interest in people of the opposite sex, but also cause a desire to attract attention. Testosterone and estrogen are also the culprits of emotional swings, anxiety, and conflict. Well, together with the hormones of pleasure and stress (dopamine, adrenaline), they contribute to the appearance of a heap. It is the excess of hormones that is the main reason why bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, and other severe mental illnesses begin much more often during adolescence than in other periods of human life.
Important! Puberty is an inevitable phenomenon. There is no point in fighting masturbation and passion for strawberries. But in order for children to understand what is happening, parents must explain about the features of human reproductive organs and the importance of safe sex. This will protect you from unwanted early pregnancy and dangerous sexually transmitted diseases. If it’s difficult to talk, you should at least provide a link to the necessary information. The Internet is replete with it. Psychological problems of adolescence are one of the popular topics of discussion.
Formation of one's own self
A full-fledged human self is often born in pain. It all starts with finding role models. A teenager does this all the time, comparing his own self with parents, peers, teachers, and idols.
Soon the teenager realizes that he differs little from adults, although he is forced to obey his elders almost meekly. From here arises a conflict, a desire to free oneself from the incomprehensible tutelage of “people like oneself.” The child begins to copy adults - acts, dresses in a similar way, drinks alcohol, tries to talk as equals, argues.
However, he still does not clearly separate his own personality from others, and has little understanding of where the boundaries lie between personalistic identity and the outside world. This is why a teenager acts disrespectfully towards others and violates the rules of the adult world.
The inconsistency of the age of 12–14 also lies in the fact that the opinion of adults, against whom he rebels, is important for the youth. Moreover, parents still remain the main role models for their children. Therefore, it is important for elders to set a good example. If parents are impatient, love to make trouble, condemn, complain, there is nothing to be surprised that a teenage child will begin to do the same.
Communication is the main value
In the company of friends, a teenager truly socializes independently for the first time, occupying a certain place in a youth group, meeting peers of the opposite sex. Often the opinions of friends become very important. If friends drink alcohol, the teenager is ashamed to remain sober. However, the teenager is characterized by strong inconstancy, constantly searching for his own identity. Friends, companies, passions, idols can change often. And this is one of the features of adolescence, the psychology of a teenager.
The danger of being outcast
It is adolescence that manifests itself with all its force into intolerance and unwillingness to help someone who is very different. If a teenager has problems with appearance, expect trouble. There will definitely be those who will laugh, others will support “for the company.”
Such problems are not uncommon among teenagers. They are an important psychological characteristic of adolescence. Due to rapid hormonal changes in the body, 12-14 year olds often develop skin diseases and excess weight. Boys suffer from uncontrollable erections.
Becoming an outcast is very dangerous for a teenager. Everything can end not only in isolation, neuroses, but even in real tragedy - a suicide attempt.
Remember! Boys' adolescence is more turbulent. They get out of hand more often than girls. Teenage boys are characterized by extreme self-confidence and the desire to contrast their own views with the opinions of others. However, contradictions remain. Individualism and isolation strangely coexist with conformism and dependence on the opinion of “one’s own” group.
Teenage boys more often begin to become very interested in something - they become “nerds”, athletes, musicians. At the same time, the teenager greatly exaggerates his own capabilities. A 12-year-old boy is endowed with the finest psychology. It's easy to break it.
Age characteristics of adolescents 13–14 years old
At 14, an individual is completely freed from childish clothes and becomes a real teenager with all the contradictions. Teenager at the same time:
- strives for personal freedom and peer recognition;
- believes that he can handle everything, constantly feeling his own inferiority;
- acts so self-confidently, as if he has known everything, although he has little experience.
Psychology of adolescence: appearance is the main enemy
For 13-14 year olds, appearance often becomes the main measure of everything. Fat people or those who are "wimpy" often become "outsiders" and an object of ridicule.
For girls, cosmetics, hairstyles, perfumes, clothes in general become a real fetish. Often the desire to be like idols extremely causes eating disorders and fear of getting fat. Therefore, it is important to instill in your children in a timely manner (while they are listening) the correct attitude towards food. Then for children food will become a source of energy and pleasure.
Remember! The diet of teenagers should be rich in zinc. Otherwise, the body will stop producing the required amount of serotonin. It regulates mood, protects against outbursts of anger and depression. The teenage body often contains little zinc, since this substance is actively consumed by the rapidly growing skeletal system.
In addition, due to its lack, the body of teenagers is filled with dopamine. This hormone makes you look for adventures and do rash acts. It is not difficult to determine whether there is a lack of zinc - the white dots on the nails will tell you.
The role of parents for a 13–14 year old child is enormous. They are the ones who are able to make sure that the child’s sense of responsibility is clearly linked to reward or punishment. Parents can become that “constructive beginning” in the lives of teenagers, which will help them gradually gain self-esteem and eliminate the desire to fight with adults.
The main thing is not to slide into an angry rejection of the child, to begin to see him as a fiend of hell who deliberately does only harm. You need to learn to hear the teenager and make reasonable compromises. Then you will gradually be able to regain your lost authority.
Remember! Many 13-14 year olds, due to active restructuring of the body (and not just the habit of staying awake at night, walking with friends, hanging out on social networks), find it difficult to get up in the morning and fall asleep early. Therefore, it is wrong to reproach a teenager for sleeping before lunch on a weekend day. There is no laziness here - the teenager simply wants to sleep off the entire past week.
New psychological phenomena at 14–16 years old
A teenager, of course, does not have the experience of parents. However, at 14–15 years old, the child’s logical and analytical abilities are almost the same. Therefore, a teenager poorly perceives the orders of his relatives when he does not see any logic in the commands.
Teenagers of this age are very aware of insincerity. If parents feel angry because of their child’s behavior and say that they are offended, then the teenager will immediately feel that they are not being honest with him. Psychology is a boring concept for teenagers. But it is she who develops their intuition and sensuality.
First true love, search for a calling
14-17 year old teenagers usually not only date peers of the opposite sex, but actually fall in love. At this age it most often starts (more than “hugs and kisses”). Then the teenager begins to gradually “betray” his group, look at his friends more critically, and look for true friendship, where trust and common interests are important, not hierarchy or status.
However, everything is not limited to love and friendship. Many 15-year-olds are no longer satisfied with quickly boring hobbies. They want to find a calling. At the same time, the future still seems cloudless.
When a teenager finds his calling (or thinks so), he is filled with ambition and the desire to “turn the world upside down.” The psychology of a 16–17 year old teenager is structured in such a way that he is confident that he will achieve outstanding heights in his favorite activity without any problems. Gradually, gaining experience and becoming an adult, a person begins to look more realistically at his own prospects and capabilities.
A more critical perception of one’s own actions, interest in “global” problems
14-15 year old teenagers begin to leave the small world of subjective perception of reality and evaluate their own actions more critically. Teenagers already know how to put off pleasure “for later” and understand that benefits must be earned. There is less egocentrism in actions.
Many “almost adults” are beginning to become interested in global issues, trying to understand why some countries are more successful than others, how the economy works. This helps to “reconcile” with parents, who can regain authority if they are well versed in such issues. Moreover, a 15–16-year-old teenager already thinks less categorically and is ready to treat opposing opinions more calmly.
Problems of a modern teenager and a conversation with a psychologist
A specialist will help the teenager “make peace” with his family and understand what really interests him in life. With the help of cognitive-behavioral correction and hypnotherapy, the psychologist will remove the teenager’s internal conflicts with the outside world, instill confidence in his own strengths, and instill a sense of self-respect.
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Every teenager is unique and experiences a period when everything in him changes: his body, feelings, self-awareness and attitude towards the world. Each requires a special approach, which does not allow creating a unique and effective communication recipe. However, a few simple recommendations will help parents improve their relationships with their children, and not lose the warmth and lightness that existed between them while their daughters and sons were small.
website I have collected tips that will support parents whose children are becoming teenagers.
1. Use your experience
We remember our teenage years, with all their troubles and doubts, which often unsettled us. And today in everyday life we can experience difficulties and be far from ideal. However, it is difficult for a child to imagine his parents like this if they do not share their experiences with him.
Of course, you shouldn’t tell a teenager something that will scare you, but completely avoiding discussing “adult” problems is the same as making him feel inferior. It is in such situations that we hear the common and truly sincere: “You don’t understand!”
2. Be on the same page
Communication will become much easier if parents help their teenager find a way to express himself. These can be interesting and even joint activities like drawing, reading, dancing, sports, etc. The main thing is that the child likes them. In a circle or section, he will meet like-minded people and improve his communication skills. The two generations will have many new topics to talk about and more ways to show their love and devotion.
4. Help you accept your changing body image
Ease of communication between parents and children is established long before the latter become teenagers. If you allowed your child to talk about everything, reacted normally and talked about himself in response, then when he becomes a teenager, communication will be much easier - tested by practice.
Less “friendly” adults can benefit from a very simple piece of advice: listen more often than you talk. Teenagers can say much more if we remain silent longer, giving them the opportunity to speak.
6. Allow children to be independent
Something happens to teenagers all the time, and often the response is anger, which spills out uncontrollably on those around them. Try to instill in your child normal ways of managing this difficult and sometimes cruel feeling. Many of these will be useful for adults too.
How to calm down:
- Take another look at the problem - it may not be worth arguing or getting angry about.
- Take a few deep breaths and count to 10. This gives yourself time to think before you say anything.
- Go for a walk or take a break.
- Conduct a short auto-training: “I need to calm down,” “I shouldn’t react like that,” “Now you can’t lose your temper,” etc.
- Sometimes a completely different problem is hidden behind offensive words, but the child cannot ask for help directly.
- Humor is a great way to calm anger. However, sarcasm can only add fuel to the fire.
How to resolve a conflict:
- Try to calmly express your opinion about the problem; shouting is not a help in an honest dispute.
- Ask your teen to tell him what he thinks about this. Listen carefully and try to read between the lines of his thoughts.
- Discuss acceptable ways to solve the problem without fighting. Look for compromises.
- Defend your position calmly. Don't give in on anything unless it's really important or necessary.
Being a parent is not easy, but you need to believe in yourself and try to support your child during adolescence. Much depends on this period in a person’s adult life, and we must help children cope with it and not lose the connection of love and friendship with their family. Perhaps you have your own thoughts on this matter? Share your invaluable parenting experience in the comments.
