Hmmmmm...Let me think...
1. *Fear of relationships* I’m 18 years old. I’m very afraid of relationships. In the sense that I’m just not ready for them..probably..
2. *Disappointment in past relationships* Oooh, this particular point became for me the worst part of my life. Ahem. My ex, so to speak, did not appreciate me. He dated me so that I could just be his girlfriend. Just so that it would be simple. When we had personal arguments with him (over the phone, since he often went out with friends, and I stayed at home, waiting for his messages, and simply didn’t go out anywhere. Even to my friends. So that he wouldn’t slander) he always gave his phone to his friends , they just insulted me like that, they said that I was scary, a prostitute (although I had never even kissed... Even until now there was no first kiss...) and all that kind of stuff. And the ex even persuaded many of my friends. My friends were just throwing me away...You know? Until now..To this day my friends are with my ex...Loyal..I thought so...They communicate as if nothing had happened. This, naturally, makes me very hurt and I don’t want to trust anyone.
- *Distrust and isolation towards people around me* Actually, I wrote everything in paragraph 2. I don’t open up to people because I don’t believe in friendship as such...
4. *Inflated bar for the future “prince”* Well.. I think there’s nothing to explain here. I have pretty high self-esteem. I’m not fat, I’m tall, my face seems normal, not ugly. So why should I have a scary man in the future? And no matter how much I convince myself, I simply cannot accept that appearance is not the main thing. That's all. And yes. Again. I dream of finding a man who will be completely opposite to my ex. That is: not a slobber, loyal, reliable, brave, who will support me not just with words, but with actions. And it’s not like I’m running to his entrance at 10 pm. And not so that I alone give him gifts, and he brushes it off and puts on a fake smile. In general, so that my future boyfriend is a guy, and not me in the role of a man!!!
- *Possible asexuality*Yes, yes, yes. Exactly she. I don’t know from what moment... I got the feeling that the whole world was too much for me... Well, too vulgar. I’m not a nun and I’m not pretending to be. But I really hate thinking about a cupcake and similar intimate things;) My friends are so violent are discussing this... I feel abnormal... I understand that without this biological activity, alas, I am useless, but it’s not right to talk about it openly... I don’t even know how to express all this, let’s put it this way , on the phone...Very difficult...
Bottom line: Guys, don’t worry so much about yourself. If you do not have any mental or physical trauma, then there is nothing to be afraid of. Everything is still ahead of you. If not at 16, then at 20. If not at 20, then at 35. You can meet your soulmate anywhere! In a cafe, at the institute, at school and at work. You might just walk along the road and trip over a stone. And some young man will help you get up. That’s how everything starts))... But I guess I won’t have such a wonderful feeling as love...
In this article, you will find the answer to the question “why don’t I have a boyfriend” and get a step-by-step guide to finding one and building a happy relationship with him.
Why I don’t have a boyfriend - 7 steps to meeting someone
I present to your attention 7 steps that will lead you to a happy relationship. As you read, pay attention to those points in which your behavior does not coincide with my recommendations. Most likely, these are the reasons why you are still asking the question “why don’t I have a boyfriend.”
Step #1: Confidence
Nowadays there is a trend in the world of confident people. If you are confident in yourself, everything is within your control, you can achieve whatever you want. You may not have talents and abilities, you may not have a bright appearance, but if you are confident in yourself, you will achieve your goal. You can find many examples of celebrities, bloggers, famous entrepreneurs who have achieved great heights on self-confidence alone.
Fear usually exists where there is no experience. The first time you will need to get acquainted despite any fears. Then try again a second and a third time... On the fourth time you will feel the fear go away. You already know what to do. Fear disappears where there is a plan of action. And this plan automatically appears in the place where there is a certain number of repetitions. In other words, start doing it - and by the third or fourth time the fear will disappear on its own.
Two more emotions that prevent you from getting to know each other are contempt and disgust. Perhaps there are guys who are already showing you signs of attention, but you yourself don’t even look at them. Because, I quote: “This one looks like a homeless person, this one is kind of fat, and this one is just disgusting.” If a guy has ever seen you feel disgust directed at him, he is unlikely to decide to court you.
Therefore, from today, start paying attention to those whom you would not have even looked at before or would have looked with disgust. Start smiling at these guys and chatting with them. Change your angle of view and never show emotions of disgust and contempt on your face in front of them. Look for the traits you like in them, believe me, they are there.
A couple of other emotions that push guys away from you are sadness and sadness. I'm not saying you should stop being sad or suppress this emotion. No, we need sadness and sadness just like joy, and we can and should experience them. But when meeting young people, start smiling more often. Try smiling at everyone you meet (just smile!), and you will see the effect yourself. Guys like girls who have lightness on their faces, joy, and sparkle in their eyes. So instead of being overwhelmed and sad, start smiling sincerely at everyone you meet along the way. People will start to notice you and smile after you. And someone will definitely meet you. Just when he does this, don't feel disgusted with him. Communicate and look for the good. It is in everyone.
Step #3: Write who you need
In order to reduce the time it takes to find the right candidate, do one important exercise. Sit down and write down on a piece of paper a list of qualities that your boyfriend should have. Sign up for 50-100 qualities, or maybe more, as many as you want.
The next day (exactly the next!), find 5-7 qualities on this list without which you would never agree to a relationship. And leave only these 5-7 qualities, the most important ones. In this order - first write a lot, and then remove most. This is the only way you can determine your true desires.
Now write down for each quality what it means to you. For example, if it is kindness, write: “for me, kindness in a young man is a desire to help me with intractable problems, love for people, love for animals, the ability to share, etc.” And so for all 5-7 qualities from your list - make a detailed description. The resulting list will help you significantly reduce the time when searching for a young man.
Now keep your little list in mind because we're going to meet you!
Step #4: Increase Inbound Dating Traffic
If you sit and wait for the wonderful Captain Gray to sail to you under scarlet sails, of course you can wait. But this will take you years, maybe even decades. Let's not wait so long and let's go get acquainted ourselves. To speed up your search time by a thousand times, increase your incoming dating traffic. Are you afraid? Remember - fear disappears where there is a large number of repetitions. Therefore, the first two or three times you will need to act contrary to your fear, and then it will disappear.
Meet as often as possible, preferably every day. But be sure to take breaks to recover. For example, in the first week you get to know each other every day, and in the next week you take a complete break from dating. At the same time, do not neglect your small list of qualities, otherwise you risk falling into the trap of being in a relationship.
So, think about where there are a lot of young people you might like. Communicate more, go to different places where your target audience lives.
Step #5: How to meet people?
Many girls who are looking look like they are not looking for anyone. They mentally and with their facial expressions signal to the guys around them: “Don’t come near me!” Well, is this how you can get to know each other? When leaving home, you must mentally broadcast your intentions to the world. Start today smiling at every guy you meet along the way. And also, when you leave the house, start thinking about who you want to meet, who you want to make acquaintance with. Do this until you find the one.
Be open to everyone who wants to meet you. Don't turn your nose up, don't show negative evaluative emotions. Immerse yourself mentally in lightness, joy, relaxation and broadcast them to everyone.
If you only meet online, start dating in person too. And vice versa. Let the sources of acquaintances be varied, let there be many of them. A large selection is better than a small one.
When dating online, you need to know the main rule - from acquaintance to meeting offline, a few days should pass, no more. The sooner you meet, the fewer illusions you will have time to build about this person and the less time you will waste. If for some reason a person delays the meeting, do not communicate with him anymore, he is here for a different purpose. Your goal is not to get hooked on an online dating site, but to find a good, worthy and, most importantly, real young man. And long hours on a dating site will only hinder you in this.
Step #6: First Date Rules
The first date should be short, from half an hour to an hour. During this time, you will have time to form your opinion about the person and leave a first impression of yourself.
If a young man likes you, then a quick first date will help spark his interest. He will want to see you again, and he will do everything to make this happen. The other side of the quick first date coin is that it allows you to save time if you don't like the guy. You meet several guys a week, so don’t waste your time. After all, most of them most likely do not have the qualities on your short list.
Another important reason to end a first date quickly is the danger of boring your interlocutor. If your first date lasts 3-5 hours, then even if the gentleman likes you, he may not call you back. You will simply bore him, “overfeed” him with yourself, and he will not strive for repetition. It’s better to leave the slight bewilderment at the quick departure by saying that “you need to feed the cat,” while hinting that you are not against continuing. This will rekindle his interest and desire to see you again.
Let your interlocutor learn more facts about yourself, but don’t neglect to ask about his life. People love when people are interested in them. Of course, the interest must be sincere and genuine. Ideally, your dialogue should be built alternately: first you speak, then he, then you again...
On the first date, try to listen and take a closer look. What the interlocutor tells you, how he does it, do you have common ground, common interests, do you feel good with him. Don't give him hope for a second date if you feel like he's not right for you. And if it fits, be sure to give a hint.
Step #7: Don't rush into marriage
A man, as a rule, loves to have a pleasant time with a girl with whom he feels at ease and comfortable. And family life, marriage, children, duties, responsibility, burdens are in no way associated with this. A guy wants to experience lightness and joy when he communicates with a girl. And he never gets ahead of himself on the first date, unlike us girls and women.
Answer the guy in the same way when you are on your first dates with him. Be completely in the present moment. Enjoy what you have without trying to jump too far into the future and without making far-reaching conclusions. If a man is easy, pleasant and comfortable with you, if you don’t ask him awkward questions like: “How many children do you want?”, he will be happy to meet with you again and again.
Focus on what is happening between you now. Observe, listen, watch, be yourself - and soon you will get what you want.
Conclusion
I hope in this article you found the answer to your question “why don’t I have a boyfriend.” In these seven steps, you could very well see the reasons why you are still single. With one article I tried to kill two birds with one stone and also help you in finding a young man.
While you're searching, I encourage you to read my other articles about . What's the point of joining them if you don't know how to build them? Don't listen to other people's advice from people who don't know how to do it themselves. How many families do you know who have lived happily for thirty years? Perhaps this is an endangered species. This means everyone needs to learn how to build relationships. Learn the right relationship with me too.
And to summarize what was said in the article, let me remind you:
- Increase your self-esteem and learn
- When communicating with young people, replace fear with determination, disgust with favor, sadness with lightness
- Make a big list of qualities that a young person should have, and then narrow it down to five or seven and describe each quality. What do care, kindness, and sincerity mean to you?
- Increase your incoming dating traffic. I'm convinced that the main reason you're single right now is because you don't socialize enough. At least less than it takes to find someone who's right for you. Try to meet each other every day
- Be open to getting to know each other. Do an experiment. Smile at every young man you meet. You'll be surprised what happens. Do this until you achieve your goal
- The first date should be short. Keep the suspense, spark interest
- Don't waste time on people you don't like and don't give them hope
- On the first date, talk and listen equally. Listen with interest, and if you are not interested, leave
- Don't talk about the future. Be completely in the present moment and convey this to your interlocutor. He will be pleasantly surprised
And don't forget to purchase my book How to Love Yourself. In it, I collected the most effective techniques with the help of which I once learned to love myself and increased my self-esteem. When you learn to show yourself love, your whole life will change for the better! And the relationship will be a nice bonus.
These are all the main rules for dating and starting relationships. I guarantee you that by following them, you will soon find your happiness.
If you need individual help in finding a guy to build a romantic relationship with, you can contact me for psychological help. As a psychologist, I will help you become attractive to yourself and teach you techniques that will make others read this attractiveness and get to know you. I will also teach you how to meet people first and communicate in a way that will lead to romantic relationships.
Your psychologist Lara Litvinova
Photo: Viacheslav Nikolaienko/Rusmediabank.ru
Are you tired of coming up with answers to stupid questions like “Why don’t you have a boyfriend?” People are curious. And if before thirty-five you can still safely say that you have not yet met the guy of your dreams, then after forty you can come up with an excuse that he has already died. But seriously, have you never asked yourself this stupid question: “Why does everyone have it, but I don’t? What is wrong with me?"Human needs human
There’s no escape, the question arises and, it seems to me, requires an answer, because if there is no relationship at all or it lasts at most a couple of months, then perhaps it’s worth thinking about. After all, even if you have a full life and your life seems wonderful, still, hand on heart, admit that in addition to occasional rare sex, you want to have a constant warm relationship with someone, a loved one who is waiting for you, who you can trust, who will help in difficult times, who you want to take care of. Why lie to yourself, claiming that you don’t need all this? Every person on earth needs this!True, some arguers will immediately get involved in a verbal fight and begin to claim that they do not need any relationship. That they were born for themselves and want to live for themselves the way they want. I am sure that they are lying, trying to cover up their inability to build relationships with people. Because the main reason why they still don’t exist or they quickly end is precisely this: the inability to build relationships.
Some may think that happy couples are just lucky. They found a suitable candidate and now live happily ever after, doing nothing to achieve visible harmony. This is a deeply erroneous opinion.
Any relationship is a labor of the soul. Another thing is whether you want to strain for the sake of this relationship, whether you value it or are still waiting for the ideal, temporarily basking in the chest of a random person. This is already a question of morality and morality regarding how we use each other.
So why don't you have a boyfriend?
There are reasons that seem to lie on the surface:Laziness and selfishness. Any relationship requires time, effort, some kind of sacrifice, movement, dedication. Sometimes we have to step on our own throat, “shut up our fountain”, humble our ambitions, ambition, character - that is, adapt to another person. And this is not easy, especially if you are a narcissist and a lazy person in life. There are no miracles. You will be the same lazy person and narcissist in love, unless you want to change and work on yourself. Sometimes on the forehead of such a lazy woman it is written in a predatory, sweeping handwriting: “I want to get married immediately!” – and this inscription completely scares off potential suitors. Sometimes something else is written: “I need a plugger for my spiritual holes immediately!” “I’m looking for a vest!” “We need a sponsor!” etc. Now, if only the sign could be changed to “I’ll be in good hands!” “I will warm you with soul and body!” “I’ll give myself!” “I’ll help!” – the effect was completely different.
, ignorance of psychology, erroneous life attitudes. When a girl has certain models of life in her head, a standard of relationships, ersatz external attributes, it is not easy for her to find a friend. She came up with or heard from some “wandering Aigle” a beautiful fairy tale about scarlet sails, a white Mercedes and the fabulous ideal Gray, who will sail to her and fulfill all her desires, destroy all contradictions, create a dream come true for her. But life is far from a fairy tale; even for owners of white Mercedes, not everything is so ideal with their character or romantic relationships.
Many girls don’t even think about the peculiarities of male psychology and judge men by themselves. Meanwhile, we are completely different inhabitants of Mars and Venus, figuratively speaking. And this cannot be ignored.
Sometimes girls develop a strong attitude towards a man as a breadwinner, who must solve problems for her, provide, decide, protect, and she will only bend her fingers and reward him with a gracious smile. Maybe this is right, I still haven’t decided. But tell me, how many men agree to voluntarily enter into such bonded relationships just for the sake of her smile and rare sexual grace. Probably, for this, a girl must have heavenly beauty and an angelic character, which, alas, almost never happens in life.
Dejection and whining. There are girls who are always dissatisfied with something, suffer, whine, and are sad. Either because they have no one, no one loves them, or because no one pays attention to them or loves them little. Or maybe they grind down their old losses and sorrows and, elevating them into a cult of exclusivity, endlessly savor their special universal suffering. Generators of misfortune literally bleed with deep sadness, thinking that a savior will immediately be found who will assess the level of suffering, take pity and rescue them from the dark tower of contrived grief. No matter how it is! Men themselves, deep down in their souls, are sad, afraid and unsure of themselves, they also sometimes want to find someone who would not plunge them into despondency, but would pull them out of the swamp of dullness, inspire them, make them move, and rejoice. Therefore, they are unconsciously drawn to such individuals. Cheerful, cheerful, radiating warmth and positive energy, kindness and a desire to help, to give, and not to take and use. They somehow magically recognize the girl as a hunter and consumer and do not want to continue the relationship with her. And rightly so! Who wants to be an ATM and a sex machine and receive in return a thousand claims, demands, whims, criticism and other universal sadness at the price list.
There are deeper reasons for loneliness
, fear of failure, complexes. Sometimes people value themselves so little that they cannot even imagine that anyone would evaluate them positively. Not surprising. If you don’t love yourself, who will love you? “Love yourself, others will follow!” - the slogan is understandable, but how difficult it is to follow it in practice, especially when you have more than once encountered in life moments when you are rejected, abandoned, or preferred to another, more beautiful one. Low self-esteem is formed in a girl in childhood; her father, who criticized too much, labeled her, and punished her (especially physically), has a particularly great influence on her formation. If a girl was never praised in childhood, if during puberty everything was forbidden to her or, on the contrary, everything was allowed, without delineating the boundaries of what was permitted with the help of firm goodwill, a huge number of complexes develop in her. Then, behind the outer recklessness and even toughness, sometimes there hides a completely helpless, insecure creature, fleeing the world in its shell and coming up with various clever theories and excuses to justify itself.It is very important to find these roots of negativity and weed them out of consciousness. Sometimes it is not possible to do this on your own. Because a person is not aware of the reasons for his behavior, his fears, and does not know how to determine the motives of his own actions. He does not work on his internal state, believing that it cannot be changed, this is how he is and nothing can be done about it. It’s better to sit in a hole and not show yourself to the light, otherwise they might bite your head off, call you names, make fun of you, reject you, etc. He sits alone, closes himself, buries himself, convinces himself that everything is fine with him, comes up with various theories and provides evidence for them and convinces himself that he is happy. But, frankly speaking, unhappy! But how to admit it? This is impossible, this is beyond his strength!
Childhood trauma. If in childhood a girl experiences her parents’ divorce, her father’s harsh treatment of her mother, violence, incest, if she sees and participates in family scandals, fights and other negativity, this invariably affects her psyche. “The best thing a father can give to his children, especially his daughter, is love for her mother.” Unfortunately, we have to admit that there are not many examples of such love. And this is embedded in consciousness, in memory, and sadly manifests itself in a girl’s adult life with many unconscious fears, blocks, inappropriate actions, etc. Dealing with childhood trauma can be very difficult. This is a huge internal work. Sometimes requiring the intervention of an experienced psychologist and psychiatrist. But without doing this, the girl is doomed to constant painful coexistence with her deep internal trauma, which will destroy her life, her relationships, and herself. In any case, brushing her off and pretending that everything is fine is useless and even dangerous, because the consequences can affect not only herself, but also people who unwittingly fall into her sphere of influence (friends, co-workers , relatives, neighbors, etc.) Childhood traumas are subject to treatment: long and scrupulous psychological study.
Mental disorders, phobias. They can also be treated. Pathological shyness, phobia of sex, touching, morbid misogyny, schizophrenia - all this requires the intervention of specialists.
It can be difficult for a person to determine what his own diagnosis is. But the very fact that he wants to figure it out, and does not brush aside the problem and does not look for stupid and untruthful excuses for himself, is the first step towards resolving the situation. The main thing, as you understand, is not even mastering dating techniques, not the school of attractiveness and not the “science of tender passion,” but working on yourself.
When, as a result of this work, a self-confident, independent, open creative person is born, who enjoys every moment of life and every person who meets on her way, she inevitably attracts people to herself. The one who emits light attracts moths even beyond his desire.
As a rule, many girls who do not have boyfriends or who have simply been dumped begin to wonder about this question.There are many reasons why a girl still doesn't have a boyfriend, and one of them may be your main one.
1. Perhaps it’s your complex. Among many girls, unfortunately, there is such a widespread opinion that if you don’t have such a chic figure as the models, or if you don’t look like any of the actresses, then no one will look at you, much less will fall in love. And so they begin to constantly think about how to change their appearance and fill their heads with unnecessary things. And of course, no man wants to be next to a nervous woman. And if you think about it, are all those girls who have a boyfriend so similar to actresses or models?
2. Perhaps you have stopped going beyond your social circle and, moreover, you are afraid and do not want to meet new people. You're too lazy to go to parties and nightclubs and it's easier to talk to your mom and best friend. If this is actually the case, then how exactly are you going to meet someone if no one can see you? Read the Be Alpha website, pickup for a girl section - and flirt with men, look at them so that they notice you.
3. It is possible that you are a very modest and shy person. Being in fact a fairly pleasant and interesting person to talk to, when you meet some guy, with your shyness, you create not the best impression of yourself - the guy doesn’t get turned on by talking to you, but is rather afraid of offending you in some way. If you are by nature such an unsociable person, then you should start getting involved in social affairs or take part in various kinds of events where you communicate with guys. 4. Some girls, seeing the success of their friends, begin to envy them and somehow imitate them. At the same time, they forget about their individuality and turn into a copy of someone, which naturally no one needs. You won’t be able to copy completely; you don’t know how your friend behaves when she’s alone with her boyfriend.
5. Many girls try to pretend to be someone they really are not, or pretend to be too serious, thereby trying to show their individuality and difference from others. But you shouldn’t turn your nose up so much and you need to be simpler - guys don’t like girls who try to put themselves above men, so don’t take mtv videos with independent and proud girls seriously - it’s just a picture.
6. Some girls try to make jokes, showing guys that they don’t need them, but this doesn’t attract them to them, but on the contrary, guys don’t want to talk to them.
7. Immediately after meeting, some girls begin to talk about further relationships, which the guy may not have thought about yet. By doing this, on the contrary, they scare away guys, because... As you know, they don’t like showdowns.
8. There is no need to play hard to get, believing that no guy is worthy of you. It is no longer within any scope to sit and wait for a prince on a white horse, remember that if you meet a worthy guy from your circle who you like and are happy with him, then he will be your prince.
9. If a guy comes to visit you, and you begin to show him excessive care, then this will remind him of his mother and I think that he does not need a second mother. The guy wants sex, first of all, and not baby talk and friendship.
10. It is possible that for many of your friends and girlfriends you are a kind of vest in which they can cry and while listening to their problems you take on all the negative energy, your mood drops and you become uninterested in organizing your personal life, seeing so many disappointments other's.
11. It is possible that every time you meet guys, you begin to see them as your friends and nothing more, and you also let them know this, putting yourself on a par with them, i.e. you show how independent you are, and you don’t need anyone’s help, especially a man’s. It is possible that even you are infected with the virus of feminism, which is poisoning your life, with a negative attitude towards men.
12. Also, you should not believe girls who are disappointed in guys, friends who, at any convenient moment, especially immediately after breaking up with their boyfriends, try to say and prove that all guys are bastards. It is because of girls like this that many guys think that all girls are bitches.
If you are still very young and have not had a boyfriend, then you should not be upset in vain. On the contrary, you have enough time to think about what kind of guy you need and what kind of relationship you need. Keep in mind that if you want a relationship with an already established man, then you should think about whether you are ready for a serious relationship and whether you will match your man and not seem like a stupid and ordinary dummy next to him. To find a guy and build a relationship, try first to learn how to communicate with different guys and understand male psychology.
Single guys often wonder: “Why don’t I have a girlfriend?” And why be surprised, because every person wants to be loved, to feel warmth and care, which cannot be confused with anything else. This feeling especially often begins to disturb guys in those moments when they realize that all their friends have long met their soul mate.
On such days, it seems to them that fate is punishing them with loneliness, and there will be no end to this. And the hackneyed question “why don’t I have a girlfriend?” it will remain unanswered. But in reality it's not like that. Every guy is capable of finding a mate, you just need to realize your mistakes and correct them.
Why doesn't the guy have a girlfriend?
So, let's figure out why some guys have difficulty finding a girl. In fact, there can be many reasons, therefore, you need to be prepared for the fact that you will have to work hard on yourself and your environment. In this case, inhibiting factors can be both psychological and physical aspects.
But the good news is that everything can be fixed. Moreover, after recognizing the problem, finding ways to solve it will not take much time. And after that the question “why don’t I have a girlfriend?” will no longer bother the guy.
Physical factors: environment, friends and events
External factors do not directly depend on us, but at the same time they influence our lives, including relationships. There are many such variables, but only a few of them directly affect why a guy doesn’t have a girlfriend.
So let's figure out what these external factors are?
- The environment is the basis for everything that happens. It is this that determines how likely a guy is to meet his chosen one. For example, a man is looking for an intelligent and educated woman with whom he could start a family. But at the same time, he only goes to work or to a bar, which raises an interesting question: “What is the likelihood that he will meet her in these places?” So if you are looking for a certain type of girl, choose your locations carefully.
- Friends are another important factor. After all, friends who already have a girlfriend are unlikely to join you in your search for new acquaintances. It is also stupid to approach a girl standing alone in a crowd of five or six people - this will simply scare her away.
- And of course, you should get out into people more often, especially on those days when certain events are held in the city: concerts, exhibitions, folk festivals, and so on. It is on such days that the likelihood that you will be able to make a new acquaintance is extremely high.
Psychological blocks
But alas, many guys, asking the question “why don’t I have a girlfriend?”, do not see the obvious answer. Namely, that the reason lies in themselves. And often this is not related to their natural appearance and social status. The root of evil is buried precisely in their psychological attitude.
What’s worse, few of them want to fix it, because it’s much easier to blame fate than to pull yourself together and find a way out of the situation. So, let's look at those psychological blocks that become an obstacle when searching for a life partner.
"I do not have enough money"
A lot of young guys have a complex about the fact that they won’t be able to provide everything their girlfriend needs. After all, to do this you need to have an impressive amount in your account or have a prestigious job. And also a car, but more expensive, otherwise who would look at such a guy?
In reality, this is nonsense. There are, of course, girls who are after money, but is such a chosen one really worth looking for to build a relationship? What’s more important is that many ladies are capable of falling in love with even the poorest man on the planet, as long as he can give her happiness.
What is women's happiness? First of all, this is care on the part of the partner, even if it is expressed in inexpensive gifts and kind words. And also this is the confidence that her gentleman will be able to stand up for her and will not abandon her in difficult times.
"I don't know how to talk to women"
What stops many guys is that they don’t know how to behave when talking to a girl. What to tell her, how to make her smile and, of course, how to make her fall in love with you? Well, this is a completely reasonable remark. And if it makes you feel any better, most men face this problem. But how to fix this?
In fact, the only solution is practice. The more experience, the easier it will be in the future. How can you gain it without putting yourself in a negative light? Well, here's a little plan of action:
- Learn the theory. To do this, you should read a little about female psychology, watch the channels of famous video bloggers, and you can also buy special literature. In addition, work on your vocabulary and sense of humor.
- It’s better to start communicating on social networks or dating sites. After all, anonymity allows you to relax, and this will help you better develop practical skills.
- The next step will be online communication via a webcam. To do this, you should register on sites that select random interlocutors, since the Internet is now full of them. This way, you can talk to a real girl without leaving your comfort zone.
- The final stage will be live communication. Don't be afraid, remember: girls crave communication just like guys. It’s just that it’s customary that it’s the men who get to know each other first.
Electronic relationships, or “Why don’t I have a girlfriend on VKontakte?”
Nowadays, many young couples find each other through correspondence on various social networks. But oddly enough, even being on the other side of the monitor, guys are sometimes afraid to start corresponding with a girl.
They can throw on music, like photos, write a couple of comments, and then sit on the defensive. But hours, days and weeks pass, and their object of sympathy does not respond to them. And they are again left with the same sad thought: “Why don’t I have a girlfriend?”
But the reality is that both in real life and on the Internet, a man should start the conversation. Therefore, all previous actions will be just an empty phrase until the guy writes at least a banal “hello”.
And only after that will you be able to start a normal conversation. And how it proceeds will determine whether she will become his girlfriend or whether he will have to look for his destiny elsewhere.
Tomorrow's problem
But do you know what the main problem of many single guys is? This is the belief that tomorrow something will change. That a new day will come and everything will work out by itself, as if the Universe itself will help them achieve their goals.
But alas, this will not happen. The reality is that in this life you will have to achieve everything yourself. And finding a girl is no exception to this rule. Therefore, you should not wait for a wonderful Monday and take on this task right now.
And who knows, maybe tomorrow the question “why don’t I have a girlfriend?” won't bother you anymore. And then the only task will be to preserve the existing relationship, but this is a completely different story.
