We encounter manipulations in communication every day: at work, in the family, when communicating with friends or strangers. Should we be afraid of such psychological effects? How to protect yourself from manipulation?
Definition of the concept
Manipulation can be called one of the most common types of communication. It is necessary for the psychological impact on a person. Manipulation in communication is a method of management, the ability to control the behavior and feelings of an individual.
The process itself consists of a subject (manipulator) and an object (the recipient of its influence). Moreover, the latter is not informed about the psychological intervention being carried out on his personality. Therefore, such influence on people (or a group) often has a dismissive or condescending connotation.
Psychological manipulations in communication can be found at different levels: in personal discussions, in the family, in the team. They can be used both for creative purposes and to demoralize a person. The goal that the manipulator seeks to achieve plays a big role in this. The techniques with which he intends to influence are also important.
Types of manipulations in communication
Types of influence are based on using the strength of the manipulator and playing on the weaknesses of the object. The latter, unaware of the process, believes that he controls his own behavior. In this case, all the benefits from his actions go to the manipulator. He distorts the presentation of information, finds a convenient moment and conveys information to the addressee in a unique way. All these components help the manipulator take advantage of the situation or the object’s reaction for his own purposes. Manipulation in communication (types, techniques, methods) is actually control of a person’s consciousness.
The main types of impact are divided into:
- conscious - a person understands the essence of his impact and sees the end result he is striving for (this type is more common in business communication);
- unconscious - a person is vaguely aware of the ultimate goal and meaning of his influence (this type is more common in interpersonal communication).
Secondary species are divided into:
- linguistic (otherwise called communication) is a psychological impact on a person through speech (during dialogue, discussion);
- Behavioral is the control of consciousness with the help of actions, situations, deeds (in this case, speech serves only as an addition).
What are they needed for?
Manipulation in communication is one of the oldest ways of obtaining benefits in a given situation. This psychological impact is not good or bad. It depends only on the final goal and how to achieve it.
If a person feels that his consciousness is being controlled, he should figure out why this is needed and try to benefit from the new knowledge.
Firstly, you need to decide on the goal. What does the manipulator want? Is this the only benefit for him? Perhaps its impact will also benefit the recipient. This is relevant in family relationships when parents are trying to teach a child to perform some action (for example, exercise). In this case, the goal is to take care of the recipient of the impact.
Secondly, you need to decide on the means. If during the influence the recipient suffers (experiences humiliation, fear, anger, or is forced to do something), such demoralization completely subjugates the person to the manipulator. But there is also influence through flattery - when a counterpart is convinced of his attractiveness or uniqueness. But in this case, the addressee does not suffer, but almost voluntarily submits to the manipulator.
Thus, the characteristics of manipulation in communication have a neutral connotation. Much depends on the personality of the active subject. If the process of influence is revealed, it loses its meaning. Therefore, you should not always interrupt what is happening. Sometimes it is much more profitable to play along with the manipulator and benefit for yourself.
Manipulation techniques in communication
The manipulator chooses appropriate techniques, depending on who his activity is directed at. This can be an impact on an individual or an entire audience. The media space has its own established ways of controlling human consciousness. Employers often use manipulation techniques to create their own image. In a family, there are separate forms of interaction between parents and children.
The main techniques and methods of manipulation in communication are based on feelings. They are capable of destroying a person’s personality and life. Therefore, you should learn the important points of mental interaction and try to stop them.
Impact of love
In this technique, love is not an unconditional feeling. A person is perceived only if he fulfills certain requirements or conditions. For example: “If you do such and such, I will love you,” “Only worthy employees remain in our team, the rest leave of their own free will.” The manipulation offers conditions, upon fulfilling which, a person will receive at least a good attitude towards himself, and at a maximum – love. The cruelty of this psychological impact lies in the fact that the person is not perceived as a whole (with advantages and disadvantages), but only approves of her good behavior.
Impact of fear
Fear and lack of awareness of the addressee make it possible to cleverly manipulate his actions and actions. For example: “If you don’t go to college, you will become a beggar,” “You are an excellent specialist, but another applicant has appeared for this vacancy.” All invented fears come from a lack of information. By listening to the manipulator, the recipient makes a big mistake. Sometimes behind such influence lies the desire to force a person to do something better, without additional motivation or funding.
Impact of guilt
Guilt is most often used by manipulators in family life. By experiencing it, a person seeks to compensate for the damage caused. For example: “You were walking and having fun with your friends, and I am alone and babysitting the child, and making you feel comfortable,” “It’s better for you to rest today, and I can do your work for you.” The manipulator will constantly press on the feeling of guilt or find new episodes. The recipient in such a situation will try to level out the discomfort and will fall into the same trap over and over again. The feeling of guilt subsequently gives rise to aggression, so the manipulator should use such psychological influence with caution.
Impact of self-doubt
In this case, the manipulator puts pressure on him with his authority. It directly indicates the incompetence of the addressee in certain matters. For example: “You must listen to me - I have lived my life! You can’t do anything without me,” “Actually, I’m the boss here, so it’s up to me to decide how this should be done.” Such self-affirmation at the expense of another can take place at different levels and on different issues. The impact will continue until the recipient gets rid of his uncertainty, weakness and acquires the necessary skills.
Impact of pride
Vanity and pride are a wonderful lever for psychological influence. For example: “I see that my wife is tired at work. But you’re smart and an excellent housewife - surprise my friends with a delicious dinner,” “I’m preparing a promotion for you, but, unfortunately, your salary will have to remain the same for now.” The more a person strives to prove his skills to someone, the more often he tries to catch up and overtake his friends in success, the faster he will become a victim of psychological influence.
Impact of pity
This technique is often used by children and young girls. Its task is to evoke self-pity and a desire to help. For example: “I’m so tired, I don’t have any strength, and I also have to cook dinner for you,” “I’m the boss and every time I receive comments for your bad work and pay fines for you.” The victim receives help in this psychological impact. But she herself does not strive to improve her life, but prefers to complain. The slight energetic “vampirism” of this action subsequently evokes a contemptuous attitude towards the manipulator.
How to find out about the psychological impact?
There are different ways to communicate. Manipulation is one of them. But how can an ignorant person understand that they are being deceived into feelings or are trying to push him to a certain action? There are special keys that the manipulator uses to obtain the result. Here are some of them.
- Emotions. If the addressee felt that the opponent was “pressuring” feelings (for example, pity, empathy, shame, vindictiveness), then the process of consciousness control is underway.
- Incomprehensible words. Professional terms and “smart” words appear in speech. They are a red herring intended to disguise a lie.
- Repeat the phrase. The addressee hears the repetition of the same statement in speech. In this way, the manipulator tries to “zombify”, to instill the necessary thought.
- Urgency. It creates a certain level of nervousness. The addressee does not have time to comprehend what has been said, and he is already being called to action. His attention is distracted, and in the bustle he begins to carry out what his opponent is trying to achieve.
- Fragmentation of meaning. During the discussion, the addressee is not given all the information. It is split into pieces in such a way that a person is unable to grasp the entire news, but draws false conclusions based on a fragmentary phrase.
- Imposing stereotypes. The manipulator deliberately refers to known truths, emphasizing the commonality of the addressee with them. This imposition of stereotypical thinking or actions leads to their implementation by the object of influence.
Manipulation in communication is necessary in cases where a person does not have the strength or confidence to achieve his desire. He is afraid to openly express his claims and would prefer to achieve his goal through hidden influence.
In business relationships
Manipulations in business communication, their presence or absence, depend more on the professionalism of the employee and his confidence in his abilities. It is difficult to influence a person who knows his own worth. If an employee is incompetent or too shy to emphasize his merits, the employer or colleagues will not fail to take advantage of this.
Common methods of influence in a work environment are:
- ridicule, reproaches; the recipient is nervous, irritated and performs the actions necessary for the manipulator;
- demonstrative resentment is a reluctance to admit one’s point of view is wrong, and the addressee will try to fulfill all the whims of the offended person;
- flattery and support are intended to reduce a person’s vigilance and make him a victim of influence.
Manipulation in business communication can be avoided if you clearly express your opinion (which is obviously correct) and be confident in your professional qualities. During the impact, you can try to interrupt the conversation with a phone call or urgent matter. Even a simple change of topic of discussion will help avoid manipulation.
In interpersonal relationships
Manipulation in interpersonal communication is most often based on gender. This factor allows the use of behavioral stereotypes (“All women do this”, “Real men don’t do this”).
Another option is to evoke a desire to protect your gender (“You did everything right, this is the act of a real man”). The success of psychological influence directly depends on the arsenal of means and the ability to use them in different situations.
In family relationships
The most common family manipulations are hysterics, silence, demonstrative departure “to mom’s,” partying with friends, and drinking bouts. Psychological influence is used by both parents and children. This is a way to achieve your own benefit by playing on the feelings of others.
To avoid such influences in the family, you should learn to trust each other and openly discuss your desires and actions. Perhaps, at first, conflict situations will be a frequent occurrence. Over time, relatives will learn to calmly talk about their goals and motivations. But there are also constructive manipulations that can inspire a spouse or child to new achievements.
How to protect yourself from psychological influence?
Protection against manipulation in communication primarily consists of avoiding the manipulator. You should minimize contact with the person or, if this is not possible, try to turn off your emotions. If you do not make decisions hastily, under the influence of other people’s words, but think about them, this will help reduce the intensity of the psychological impact.
The desire to manipulate is most often a hidden desire for power. Praise or positive evaluation will make a person reconsider the way he interacts with people.
You should also try to keep your distance and not notify the manipulator about your life and its details. The more he knows about the addressee, the more ways of influence he will receive.
You need to learn to refuse. It is better to be known as a callous person than to constantly do someone else's work.
Manipulations in communication and their neutralization are common phenomena in society. Therefore, you should always remember that every person has the right:
- to mistakes and own opinions;
- to change your mind, to change your mind;
- do not answer questions if they seem incorrect;
- be yourself, don’t try to be attractive to everyone;
- be illogical.
The word “manipulation” is in vogue these days. A person will say, for example, “I want this and that from you,” and the answer will be, “You’re manipulating me!” and everything is one zero, now you will have to circle in disputes and excuses about manipulation, so as not to tarnish your honor with such a mysterious yet very familiar word. Yeah.
And, in fact, what is behind this emotionally charged word?
We open the New Explanatory Dictionary of the Russian Language, by T. Efremova, and there they write:
manipulation -
1. feminine
- - - 1) Showing tricks based on sleight of hand (in circus art).
- - - 2) figuratively, a clever trick, a trick; fraud (usually with a hint of disapproval).
2. feminine
- - - 1) A complex technique, a complex action performed when performing any work.
- - - 2) Action of the manipulator (3*).
For me, as a practicing psychologist, the definition stands out: “A complex technique, a complex action performed when performing any work.”
There are “simple techniques” to say directly and honestly what you want. And there are also “difficult” ones - when you don’t directly say what you want, but indirectly, through your actions or words, you push the Other to do what you want. Actually, “complex techniques” are manipulations.
It is difficult without manipulation in our society. Manipulations in communication have been cultivated for several generations. Stalin's times alone are worth it. In those days, speaking directly and honestly was fraught with the loss of freedom, and even life. Times have changed, but behavioral patterns in society have not. And now it is often much more common, “clear” and easier to speak in hints, to push someone towards something, rather than directly expressing your feelings and desires.
However, everything has its price, the other side of the coin, so to speak.
On the one hand, speaking directly, expressing your feelings and desires directly means taking the risk that they may hit you in the soul, taking the risk that you may not get what you want, and even without escape routes like “and, by the way, that’s not what I wanted at all - Where did you hear that this is exactly what I wanted? But the fact that I said something like this or did something like this, you misunderstood me!
To be aware of, and even to speak directly about, one’s feelings is a whole lot of work on oneself, sometimes frightening with the possibility of encountering something unpleasant, unwanted, inconvenient, “ugly” in oneself, as it is often called. It’s much more common to blame this “ugly” on the state, bosses, loved ones... well, you get the idea. It is much easier to come to a psychotherapist with a request to change the “wrong people” around than to ask for support in your own changes. The opportunity to take compensation, rid yourself of possible risks, the opportunity not to bear responsibility and be caught, vulnerable in something - this is the very bonus of manipulation.
The other side of the coin is a strong susceptibility to manipulation. That is, those who manipulate tend to fall for the manipulations of other people. This is the boomerang law that is characteristic of the human psyche. The trick here is that if we don’t accept something in ourselves, don’t realize it, run away from something in ourselves, then it - what we run away from, don’t notice in ourselves - becomes a “blind spot”. In other words, if we do not realize in ourselves at what moments escape from responsibility occurs (responsibility - from the verb to answer, i.e. to be capable of answering), then in other people the mechanisms of escape from responsibility cannot be recognized. Only at the level of sensations there remains some kind of aftertaste: “Something is not right, something is unpleasant - it’s like I don’t want to do this, but I’m doing it,” but it’s impossible to justify why something is wrong, everything seems to be logical, it seems agreed, there seems to be no reason to doubt and no arguments to refuse.
Here's the story.
The obvious fact about the use of manipulation is that it is unethical behavior. In what case can it be acceptable? Many of the proponents of using various tricks talk about one-time transactions and short-term perspective. If you are focused solely on the result, and the relationship does not matter much, then it does not matter to you what the other party thinks after the agreement is concluded: after all, most likely, there will be no other transactions.
But let's approach this issue from the other side; Can we always say with complete confidence that the deal being concluded is the first and last with a given person? Every day the world is becoming more and more crowded, and especially with the development of modern information technologies. If your opponent decides that you have treated him unfairly, then a wide circle of people may find out about this. I consider this a positive thing, since it is the fear of being caught that deters most people from using various dirty tricks.
To answer the question about manipulation in negotiations with a client, it is enough to imagine yourself in the client’s place. Let's abstract from ethics and morality, looking purely at the practical side of the issue. Each of us is someone's client. Imagine what you would feel if you found out that your partner, supplier or just a stranger on the other side of the table was manipulating you. Often, this can cause irreparable harm to relationships, and certainly this approach has nothing to do with customer focus. The fact that most companies, however, use manipulative tricks along with slogans about the importance of customer relationships once again confirms that only behavior and actions can serve as a true indicator of true intentions.
Is there any justification for manipulation?
Certainly. This is what 95% of people who are “caught red-handed” do. Most of them say the goal was self-defense. After all, if the other side uses tricks, then we must take certain measures, which, as it seems to many, involve the use of other tricks. There are also those who live by the principle “I’m like everyone else”: since others use such techniques and achieve results, why can’t I?!
But do such views increase trust between partners? No. I am sure that many will agree: what you definitely cannot trust are the words of a person who has already tried to use you for his own purposes. Manipulative behavior in negotiations indicates that the other party wants to get more from you than is actually owed to them. The manipulator sees you as an adversary, not a partner, and, using tricks, tries to influence you in his own interests.
How to deal with manipulators?
The only reason anyone needs to understand manipulation is to combat it. To counteract manipulation, first of all, it is necessary to identify it, and for this you need to understand which of them are most common.
Below are some tips to help you better deal with manipulators during negotiations.
If you don't understand the reasons why the other party is behaving a certain way, consider whether they are trying to manipulate you. Manipulation is an attempt to hide your true intentions. Always make sure you understand the nature of your partner's behavior.
Recognized manipulation immediately loses its effectiveness. Learn to identify various manipulations; there is specialized literature and training for this.
As part of the negotiation process, do not show that you have recognized the manipulation; the very fact is already enough to deprive it of its power. Otherwise, you risk complicating your path to agreement.
In recent years, more and more experts are inclined to believe that the manipulative approach is more harmful. Even the staunch supporters of the “take everything without giving anything” tactic have weakened their position a little. However, there is a great temptation to use some technique during negotiations and get a “bigger piece.” In such cases, always remember the possible consequences and the ethics of negotiation, which pays off many times over in the long run.
The main thing is not to deceive yourself with excuses that manipulation is just a forced measure. There are many ways to deal with them without becoming manipulative, and learning these techniques will make you an even better negotiator. As renowned negotiation expert Professor Gavin Kennedy wrote in one of his books: “The use of manipulative techniques only looks good to those who avoid looking in the mirror.”
Any negative always has a positive side. Is there anything positive about manipulation? At first glance, no. So why is manipulation still successful in some cases?
The main secret of the success of manipulation is its direction. Imagine a manipulator who wants to gain some personal benefit at the expense of another and does not take into account the benefits of the other party. This manipulation will work once or twice, but it will not have long-term success. And sooner or later the manipulator will receive a rebuff.
What if the purpose of manipulation is to obtain personal gain, taking into account the benefit and interest of the other party? Most likely, such a manipulator will be called a sweet and pleasant person. This is what masters of manipulation use most often. Essentially, there is a transaction “you - for me, I - for you.” It’s good if the transaction is understood and declared.
“You deserve it!” - and immediately a sense of self-worth kicks in: “Me? Certainly! I deserve to use such cosmetics!” And naturally, no attention to either its composition or its quality.
“A good housewife chooses...” Well, who doesn’t consider themselves a good housewife? And it doesn’t matter whether the advertisement is telling the truth, the main thing is that using this product, I will consider myself a good housewife.
“If you can’t see the difference, why pay more?” Oh, of course, I'm frugal! Why would I buy a “name” company when there are inexpensive products with the same quality. I'm not stupid enough to pay for a “name”! And pride in oneself is bursting! Are you sure there is no difference? Did you check it yourself or did you just “buy” into the advertising?
“Your girlfriend left, but her friend remained...” Why dwell on the unpleasant? Life is beautiful, and you have to take everything from it! I live “in the Eastern way” - “here and now”!
Continue: “I choose the best for my family!”, “...say yes to great skin,” “nanotechnology...”, etc.
It is very funny to watch such statements. You can immediately determine which category of citizens this advertisement is intended for. Watch, it will give you pleasure - finding that button that advertisers are trying to press. This will help you not to fall for any kind of advertising and be more attentive to what is actually offered.
What do you think - what does manipulation and motivation have in common?
Imagine, some smart guys are sitting in the management of your organization, and they are thinking - what kind of carrot should they give in order to buy you? Yes, yes, exactly to buy you, your time, your work, your efforts, your abilities, in order to earn more money from you? It’s good if they think about you at least a little. But how often does this happen?
The thinking goes something like this: we’ll give Vasya a couple of thousand in salary, he’ll be happy, and he’ll bring us twenty to thirty thousand in profit. And for the holiday of March 8, we will give Sveta an Etoile certificate, and she is ours forever and ever; there is no need to be afraid that such a valuable employee will leave.
Have you ever wondered if motivation is extrinsic? External motivation is always a deal, a sop so that you work well. How often do you fall for this kind of manipulation? Did your boss touch your buttons?
But if we talk about motivation seriously, then this is only an internal impulse, this is the primary reason for actions. What is your inner impulse? What was your internal motivation for taking this or that job? Why did you choose this particular place of work, this company? This is a great topic for self-exploration, for understanding yourself.
But this is all an external manifestation.
Let's see what happens in the emotional sphere of a person who has succumbed to manipulation. If you know how to observe yourself, your feelings and sensations, then you can see very interesting processes. But even if you don’t notice your states, the processes still take place, but only on your subconscious level.
And yet, what happens in the emotional sphere?
With any manipulation, whether a person is conscious of it or not, he will feel internal states of contradictory emotions that are incomprehensible to the mind. That is, he can simultaneously feel joy and anxiety, inspiration and discomfort, pride and resentment.
An attack of anger may arise out of nowhere after an insignificant remark.
While peacefully discussing seemingly insignificant problems, a person may feel groundless anxiety.
If after a conversation with a person you have constant processing, analysis or conjecture about what your communication partner really wanted to say, the so-called “word mixer” or internal dialogue with the interlocutor turns on, then you have become a victim of manipulative behavior. All your energy goes into internal conversations.
If you are not aware of the manipulative behavior of your interlocutor, then at a subconscious level your psyche is destroyed. Namely: mixed emotions, anxiety, feelings of guilt and feelings of inferiority, the unconscious nature of negative emotions, a decrease in your self-esteem, feelings of confidence, self-esteem, inappropriate behavior - this is the price of both your manipulative actions and reactions to the manipulation of your interlocutors. Agree, this is not the best thing that can happen to you during communication.
The only way out of this vicious circle is to increase awareness.
Sincerely,
Tatiana Ushakova.
Surely in your life you have come across such a concept as manipulation. And, perhaps, you were its object (they tried to exert psychological pressure on you) or its subject (you yourself used your “levers of influence” to change the situation in your favor).
Agree, the word “manipulation” is initially negative. As a rule, if we are offered this way of solving a problem, we are judgmental about it. “So that I could manipulate someone?! Fi-i-i-i. This is unworthy” Not to mention those cases when we ourselves find ourselves a victim of manipulation. If this operation is carried out in a “bearish style” and we realize that they are trying to hone their influence on us, our indignation will know no bounds.
Let's think a little in this article: Is manipulation definitely bad? Or are there positive aspects to this concept?
Manipulation. What kind of animal is this and what is it eaten with?
Let's start with definitions.
In the endless network you can find the following definition for manipulation:
But tell me, is each of us really so angelically pure that we never had the intention of “forcing a person against his interests” to do something? I am begging you! Yes, this is exactly what we do every day!
We manipulate our loved ones: husbands, wives, children, parents and more distant relatives. In case of production needs, we manipulate colleagues. And cases of manipulation of us by high authorities can generally be considered classics of the genre.
And if we turn to such a fertile occasion for this topic as lovers? Here you can collect 1000 and 1 example of manipulative techniques (even if their performer does not realize this). Sighs near the display case with your favorite ring or boots. Theatrical exclamations: “Oh, how lovely!”, worthy of an Oscar. Eyes like Shrek's (below the belt). Heavy artillery in the form of tears, poor health (with all the ensuing consequences), loss of strength and a classic case of headache (although it’s still worth figuring out where manipulation ends and blackmail begins). You can also recall a less elegant approach: raised tones, accusations (“You don’t love me!.. You would love me - (and then the action that, in the opinion of the accuser, should be taken in the name of love) is indicated) and even hysterics - God forbid you to become a witness or participant.
So it turns out that almost any of our body movements associated with another person, any interaction with another individual of our species, is to one degree or another in the nature of manipulation.
Manipulations with minus sign
(If you have a question - is there something with a plus sign, then I assure you that you will receive an answer to this question, only a little later)
So, how can you figure out that you are being manipulated and this is an action with a negative bias? Pay attention to how you feel. If you feel “out of place,” you feel uncomfortable, this conversation, this request, this situation weighs on you—these are sure bells that something wrong is happening. And if you feel coerced, an attempt to go against your will, a desire to take advantage of you, this is no longer a bell, but a real alarm bell. If as a result of this “trick” you agreed to what you were being persuaded to do, even if you didn’t want to, consider the manipulator’s action a success.
And here we are faced with a huge variety of approaches and manipulation options with a minus sign. Moreover, in appearance they may be completely harmless and not even remotely related to an attempt to influence another person. But it is not without reason that in the definition above we noted that manipulation is a “hidden psychological technique.” And often we get hooked without even noticing it.
You can even influence a person simplyhinting him for something. For example, a mother can only hint to her son that something is wrong with his beloved. He himself is already conjecturing what was left unsaid. This will be imprinted in his mind for a long time. And in the future it will influence his relationship with a woman.
To influence your interlocutor, you can influence himunconscious . This is somewhat reminiscent of hypnosis. This is how gypsies act, luring money out.
Immerse the person inNice memories about something that is dear to him, for example, about your vacation together the year before last. That's it, the person is ready to swallow everything you tell him. He is overcome by pleasant emotions, and at this moment you can ask him for anything.
The words spoken in conversation withby a stranger . For example, you have already told your husband directly many times that he does not know how to fix a faucet. But he didn’t pay any attention to your words. However, as soon as you mention in a conversation with a friend that your husband is a klutz, these words will be engraved in his brain forever.
This method is used by managers in communication with subordinates. If a manager praises an employee face to face, it will not have the same effect aspraise in the presence of the whole team .
Another method of influencing a person ismake him feel confused . You can push a person to take some action by stunning him with something. For example, in the middle of a conversation about a work topic, you can suddenly ask your interlocutor: “Do you like chocolates?” And immediately you can safely provide any information you need.
This is only an incomplete list of manipulative tools. But let's move from the negative to a more pleasant conversation and discuss whether there are...
Plus sign manipulation
I think definitely yes! Since you and I agreed that almost any interaction between two people gives rise to manipulation in one way or another, why shouldn’t it have positive properties?
After all, for example, a wife can awaken in her husband an interest in, say, self-development. Just by example. The fact that she enthusiastically studies something, goes somewhere, changes herself externally and internally. Because it clearly benefits her. At one fine moment, her husband may become interested: “Where are you going, maybe I should go with you?”, “What is this you’re listening to, maybe you’ll give it to me?”, “What is this you’re reading, Maybe I’ll be interested too?”
Was it contrary to the interests of the spouse? Yes. The influence was produced gradually, which means it can be called a “hidden psychological technique”? Yes. Did the person, as it were, “himself” want to do this? Yes. There is manipulation. But it already comes with a plus sign.
Yes, one could argue that this is a play on words and definitions. However, I am pleased to hold the view that manipulation can encourage better things.
For example, parents’ love of books, an example of how enthusiastically they buy new books, how voraciously they read, can encourage a child to also start reading.
For example, a wife wanted to organize an unforgettable vacation. She described all the delights of the family, created such a “delicious” picture of the upcoming vacation, and brought up such interesting facts about the country where she wanted to go that everyone voted in favor with both hands. And the end result was an unforgettable journey.
For example, you started running in the morning. You don’t drag anyone along with you, don’t forcefully promote a healthy lifestyle, don’t shame or highlight your achievements. You just return from a run happy and joyful, full of strength and energy, you are losing weight every day, and you even met a handsome man. Do you think your companion or your children will be able to resist joining you?
For example, you can covertly manipulate your emotions. We noticed: there are torch people. As soon as they appear somewhere or communicate with someone, it becomes lighter, brighter, easier. And the gloomy mood can dissipate under the spell of their influence.
And examples of gallantry and chivalry for the sake of a beautiful lady? How many times has it been noticed: with one girl a guy can be ordinary and unremarkable. On the other hand, to become a hero who shows his best qualities.
Instead of output
If the main motivating motive for your manipulation is goodness, light, love, harmony, trust, calmness, then I give my vote for it.
And answering the question of the title of this article, I will once again exclaim: “Yes! Plus sign manipulation exists!”
So let's learn to influence others in a way that makes them and this world a better place. And the most important thing is to do it sincerely.
